Mended Wings Niwatari
by hollowlove66
Summary: After a war devastates their town, Niwa, Hiwatari and the Harada twins escape to an island to seek shelter. Hiwatari feels strongly for Niwa, while Daisuke is still figuring out his budding feelings. The island offers them the chance to find themselves while discovering each other along the way.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Niwa, Daisuke

"You have been lucky to get Dark." Hiwatari stares into the water, allowing the silver moonlight to drip like silk off of his sparkling hair. The ocean rolls in, just far enough to lack the muster to touch our feet. Yet Hiwatari rolls up his pant legs as if the foamy shoreline can still reach out and lick his skin.

"Huh? Hiwatari, what do you-?"

"I don't expect you to understand, Niwa-kun. He has been good to you. You do not yet know the feeling of his true powers. He cares about you too much, still." He glances up at me from behind his glasses, the frames he wears only for himself. For the second time I am struck with the same pang as before. A feeling I have never gotten until the moment I witnessed Hiwatari strung up, waiting to end his life for freedom.

I shiver at the memory and look away. I don't know what I would have done if he had gone through with it. What if I was trapped only a minute later and found his lifeless body. I know even Dark couldn't have saved me at that point.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I try to release the ice cracking against my heart. I can still see his face, see the way his eyes glowed with not only tears, but fear. Fear of himself and what he might do. His eyes look like steel, set hard into creased sockets. If Hiwatari was the type, I could reach out to him. But I think that might only scare him more.

"Are you cold, Niwa-kun?" He doesn't even look at me as he begins to take off his sweater. It is pulled over his head and around mine before I have time to answer. Soon my body is soft with the heat from his. I didn't realize Hiwatari could be such a warm person, I would have thought he stayed cold. Even now he looks fine, almost blissful in the chilly evening air.

"You don't have to call me Niwa if you would like." My cheeks are beginning to burn and I cannot understand why. Hiwatari is a classmate, there is nothing intimate about this. We have been together plenty of times. Then why do I always feel different around him, like I am trying to impress him always.

His sweater feels like a weight around my shoulders and I take in each fiber touching the bareness of my arms. The material smells like him and it heats up my stomach. Maybe because I am asking him to use my first name, something that rarely happens among people like us, I am feeling embarrassed.

He nods slightly and says, "Not Niwa huh. What would you like me to call you then? Daisuke-kun?" His stare burns into my shoulder and I fake scratching my forehead to hide my face in the sweaters sleeve. There is no way I can look at him now, not with my cheeks this colour. I must be redder than my hair, and the heat is unbelievable.

For a moment I consider jumping into the ocean or even turning into Dark to get myself out of the situation. But his eyes leave pinpricks on my skin and as close as Dark feels, I know he wouldn't save me now. He is enjoying this all too much.

"Daisuke, huh. Well then, you can use Satoshi. Hiwatari isn't even my real name after all, it's just a handle. Daisuke, are you feeling okay? Your face is pretty red." I hadn't even noticed myself looking at him but as my eyes focus on what he's saying, I figure I have been staring this whole time.

Our eyes lock awkwardly, making me jump in surprise. How could I have let myself look at him this way! He must think I'm such an idiot. Quickly I try to think of something to say in return, something that will take the attention off of my dysfunctions.

"Oh! Ha-ha, yeah! I've just been working too hard is all. No need to worry." I pinch myself under the fabric of his clothing.

"I wasn't worried. I just didn't want Dark to think I was hurting you. Like we need Krad to take over at a time like this. Wouldn't he love to be involved." He kicks at the sand and starts to bury his feet. It must be hard for him to be around me and not change. I never considered that until now.

"Hiwatari? Eh, Satoshi-kun, I am sorry about what happened...before. I wish I could help you." For a moment he surprises me by smiling. It's short and smug, not reaching his eyes, but I get the feeling it's more for Krad than anyone else.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Niwa." I think about correcting him but decide not to. His smile is broken and the pain encases his face once again. "Sometimes I just feel like it would be better to not be here at all than to find a solution that could hurt anyone anyway. I am a doll for this curse, a host for him to feed off of. No one really needs me, they just need my body. If he could get his hands on that, why would I need to stay after all?"

I think of Dark nestled inside me and secretly thank him for being how he is. Even though he is self-centered and annoying, I couldn't imagine a better angel to take over my body.

**- I heard that pip-squeak!-**

Sorry Dark! I smile to myself and thank him again. Hiwatari does not deserve the pain Krad puts him through; he has only ever been kind to me. I glance up through my eyelashes and look for the words to tell him this.

"Senpai, I...I need you!"

He sits with his arms curved behind his back, resting palms down, to memorize the stars. I can see what the girls say about him being good-looking. He holds a beautiful heir even when he isn't trying to. I wish I could be more like him, instead of clumsy and awkward all the time. Compared to him, I am still a little boy. Hiwatari seems to have it all down, he is both brains and brawn. But seeing the sadness written into his history I can't imagine how he must feel about himself.

Who is the one Hiwatari has fallen in love with for him to able to transform? Even now I have not figured that much out.

"S-Satoshi?"

"Hmm?"

"Who have you fallen in love with?" He merely chuckles at the question and rolls his head toward me. The world restarts in slow motion and like someone out of a television commercial he opens his eyes to reveal two stars from the sky. Suddenly everything around us goes silent and dark, like a flame has been extinguished above.

"In love? Daisuke, have you not figured it out yet?" His voice is like I have never heard it before, a deep hum that vibrates through my bones, chilling me even more.

"I-I..."

"Daisuke, would you ever love-?"

"NIWA-KUN!? WHERE ARE YOU?!" Riku's voice rings out against the sand, scaring me even more. I jump up, creating a blizzard of sand and start wiping off my pants.

"I-I have to go! I'll see you tomorrow senpai, goodnight!" I bow slightly, kicking more sand into the spot I have just sat in. Without saying anything Hiwatari leans back and closes his eyes, as if deep in thought. I take off running, not even thinking of his sweater still on me. For a moment, I wonder if I should bring it back, but as I look over my shoulder, he's gone. Not even the a mark in the sand stays. It is like he was never even there.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Hiwatari, Satoshi

"Daisuke, would you ever love me?"

"Senpai? I have always loved you. Haven't you realized that silly?" Then he would cock his head to the side and smile widely with his eyes closed. Same old Daisuke.

** -Stop. Stop thinking of that fool.-**

Shut up Krad. This is hard enough without you bothering me.

Thick branches scratch my cheeks as I stumble through the forest, holding in the pain of Krads transformation. Why Niwa, why him. He has such innocent eyes, such a clean soul. And here I am, ruining him for anyone else. So many times I have tried to stay away, knowing it would only hurt me later, but I never can.

_ "Senpai...I-I need you!"_

A second wave of immense pain rips through my torso, as if my heart is trying to escape through my flesh and bones. How can such a stupid boy turn me into this.

I pull off my glasses, tucking them into the pocket of my shirt. There would only be more questions if I lost my glasses now, seeing as I just received a new pair. At least questions from... no. I can't bear to think of his name again._ Niwa, Niwa, Niwa._ My head throbs against the constant flow of thoughts rushing behind my eyes.

**-You can stop this all here.-**

No. No Krad. I have to stay alive for now. For him.

He tries his hardest to push through all the way. To get the best of me. What will he do if I let him out, if I let him return. It's been quiet for the last few days while he was healing. But now since his wings are fine, his thoughts have been torturing me constantly.

On an island with Niwa and the Harada twins, he could wreak more havoc than I would ever be able to fix by myself. How do I get rid of him without getting rid of myself?

** -You don't.-**

SHUT UP, KRAD.

My fists are balled, ready for the attack to happen. The pain is so intense, I almost wish I were dead despite what Niwa has told me. I have never felt it this bad, this close to my heart and soul. It's like Krad is taking over everything, not just my body but my emotions themselves.

_ "Senpai...I-I need you!"_

I glance at my reflection in a puddle swallowing my feet whole. Staring back at me are not my eyes, they belong to an angel from hell. A demon that has ruined my life from the beginning. WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

I drop to my knees and shake. Maybe I should have gotten that sweater before Niwa left; it seems so much colder in the forest than it did on the beach. Maybe that was because he was there and now I am alone. Again.

"Ni-wa." I inhale as deeply as I can and feel the wings sprout. I cannot fight him anymore.

Sorry Niwa, I am too weak.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: Niwa, Daisuke

This island was a creation of my father, Kosuke Niwa. It was a feeble attempt to keep him safe from the burdens of Krad and his forces long ago. The island is small but holds what it needs to. It kept my father from harm, now it is my turn to hide.

We barely escaped when the city was under attack. Walls were crumbling down around us and our neighbors were dying before our very own eyes. It was not Krad this time but someone much like him. Chief Superintendent Hiwatari. He sent armies, packs of humans in the form of wild animals to destroy our homes. My mother left with grandfather in an attempt to save themselves and my father brought us here.

The Harada twins came with us. They were frightened to have Hiwatari so close but I told them I wouldn't leave without him. Krad is the evil one, not him.

_ "But Niwa, what if he does something? How can we trust him?"_

_ "I know Hiwatari. He seems cold but he is very kind. He knows what he's doing when it comes to Krad. Leave it to him." A rustle frightens Risa and Riku behind us, but it's only Hiwatari. I feel bad that he's listening to this._

_ "Besides, if he tries to do anything, I can just leave. I do have wings, remember?" He takes an apple from a bowl on the counter and tosses it in the air as he walks away. I wish he wouldn't act so stable even after something so drastic happened._

I haven't seen Hiwatari since last night on the beach. Now I stare at his sweater laid out on my bed, waiting to be taken back to him. I was considering putting it in his room, but when I got to the door, I became too nervous and ran. I really hope that he's alright.

Even though there isn't anyone in the sweater, the material still seems warm. It's soft and heavy, but feels like air when you put it on. It must be one of his favorites because I see him wearing it a lot. The blackness of it seems faded from being worn so much and the thin stripes around the wrists are less red than they used to be. This sweater has been put to great use, now I just have to give it back.

Last night Riku called me inside because my mom was trying to get a hold of us on the radio. We communicate on a small two-way radio designed to go across great distances. There are easier ways, but with the hold up in the town right now, it was the simplest thing to come across.

She sounded worried. A voice I haven't heard her use often, mostly when she is scared that something will happen to Dark. Other than that I hardly hear her scared of anything. It's like she's invincible, or close to it. How do moms stay so happy when their sons are out stealing precious artifacts dressed as an angel in black? The great Dark Mousy.

She could only talk for a minute but told us Chief Hiwatari wasn't letting up his grip on the townspeople. More and more civilians were dying by the minute. I wanted to go down there right away and help but she said there was no use. We would only die too.

I asked her where they were but it was too dangerous to say anything. I imagined her and grandfather huddled in the corner of a dark cave, shivering from the cold. That couldn't be true though, not with dad around. He would never let my mother stay anywhere she wouldn't be treated like a princess. But still, something is nagging at my stomach.

I have to find Hiwatari.

Scrambling out of the house, I think of all the places he might and all the states I could find him in. I pray I won't find Krad instead.

The twins are huddled into their rooms, scared to come out day after day. I try to tell them it's safe here but they won't listen. Risa says her Tarot cards say differently and although that makes me worried, having Hiwatari with me makes everything a little better.

On the brink of the shoreline I can almost see something. Like an outline of a person lying along the sand. The body looks familiar and I swallow hard to keep from throwing up. My feet move faster and my heart races quickly, scared that something might have happened to Satoshi without me looking.

Curled into a sleeping ball is Hiwatari. His face looks exhausted and there is blood smeared across his skin. The shirt that he was wearing last night is gone and instead reveals the pale, scarred skin that makes up his stomach. I touch the open flesh and get a shock of cold, like he had spent the night lying in snow instead of on a beach. Krad must have done something to him.

I wait a few moments to see if he will wake up, but when he doesn't I wrap him in my jacket as best I can and pull his lifeless self onto my shoulder. It's harder when he can't hold on, but eventually we make it back to shelter and I place him carefully in his bed, making sure to tuck the covers in as tight as I can.

Asleep, he looks so much younger. The hard lines of life are washed away, almost vanishing behind the dreams playing against his cheeks. This is the Hiwatari I know to live inside, the one nobody should be frightened of.

I kneel next to his bed and wait, not sure whether he should be left alone or not. I can't tell how much time is passing between the soft snores escaping his mouth, but time seems to be seeping into itself, creating a calm barrier I don't mind staying in. Soon my head is drooping and cross my arms over his sheets, laying against it only for a minute.

When I open my eyes, Hiwatari is sitting up, looking out the window at a blackened sky. His arm is wedged carefully under my head, whether by purpose or not, I can't tell. For the time being, it seems to have created a makeshift pillow and my face reddens at the thought. I hope I didn't drool.

Slowly, Hiwatari faces me and looks into my eyes. It seems like days pass before he glances down at his arm. I quickly sit up, bowing my head to ease the awkwardness.

"He came didn't he? He hurt you?" I say this while looking at the floor, hiding my tears from his view.

"Huh? No...it was nothing."

"Don't lie to me Hiwatari! I know. I can feel it." I let the small tears stain my face and force myself to show it to him. He almost looks shocked, like no one has even spoken to him about this before. But then again, knowing where he came from, Krad was seen as a wonderful thing. As a saint, as an angel.

"I need to help you Hiwatari-kun! I need to save you from this pain. He's killing you. And he has no right to do that!"

Slowly, he presses his thumb under my eye and wipes away the fresh tears about to fall. The action is so slow, so sure, that it almost doesn't seem like it happened. My crying instantly stops and I hold his palm against mine.

"You don't have to be alone anymore Satoshi. I want to help you. Please let me." He kicks his blankets off and steps out of the bed. With sure motions he stands and stretches, revealing muscles rippling through his ribs. Small cuts and gashes line different parts of his skin, making me want to bandage him up. But before I get the chance, he's gone again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four: Hiwatari, Satoshi

_ "Ni-wa"_

I lean my head across the cool frame of the mirror and avoid the endless gaze of my reflection. Niwa, why are you doing this to me? How can my cells react in such a horrid game to allow me to feel this way.

I can't stop the shaking. Since we came to this island, my hands have been moving, my world has been turning and Daisuke has been the center of it all. Krad tries harder and harder every waking moment. Like my life is taking away his chance to be alive.

** -It is-**

Krad. I need to find a way out. A way out of my own skin and create somewhere that I can be with the one I love. Only, he will never be with me. At least that's what the legend of the Sacred Maiden says. I am not written into his future, while he is so set into mine.

Without thinking, my hand slams against the smooth porcelain sink, cracking its glossy figure in half. I almost expect water to shoot out in a cartoon form, but like me it is also empty.

Feet pound against the hallway outside, igniting the attention of Niwa from the other room. Was he waiting on my bed still? Or had he left only to hear this bang and return to make sure I wasn't dead yet.

"Hiwatari?" His small voice echoes through the locked door, reaching the blood pounding in my ears.

"Please Daisuke, go away. Please, go." I choke on the words and race to turn on the shower, hoping to block out my inevitable sobbing.

"Open the door Hiwatari! Please!" His nails scratch against the wooden surface like he can't get through quick enough. He reminds me of a wild animal forging for its next meal. He reminds me of myself, when Krad is taking form. Deep inside it scares me, but I grip the shower rod for support, wavering tiredly on the spot before regaining my balance.

"No Niwa! Just leave." Before I get the chance to say anything more, the door rips open behind me. Crimson-cheeked Daisuke bursts in and wraps his arms heavily around my waist, burying his head into my bare chest.

The pressure knocks the wind out of me for a second and my skin quickly grows damp with Daisukes crying. We stand like this until his whimpering subsides, slowly but surely. I let my arms droop my sides, knowing it will only hurt me to move them. Besides, Daisukes grip is so intense I doubt I could move much anyway.

"I thought you were going to hurt yourself again, Hiwatari. I couldn't let you do that. Please. You have to stay. For me. You have to fight back from Krad. You can't let him win!"

For me.

_For me._

"Hiwatari!"

"No. It's not Hiwatari. My name is Satoshi. Please call me that." My voice comes out colder than it should and I almost regret it.  
Daisuke looks up at me with wide, shiny eyes. He frowns tightly and nods once.

"I am so sorry, Satoshi. I am so sorry."

I pull my arms up and meet his awaiting grip, encircling his body closer to mine until we are pressed together in a sad mess of arms and legs.

No Daisuke, I should be sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five: Niwa, Daisuke

I spend the night bandaging the swollen mass on Hiwatari's hand. He winces when I touch it, but only moves closer wanting the pain to be gone sooner. He knows pain so well, yet still cringes at the thought of it.

I wonder what triggered Krads release this time. Who triggered it. Did someone sneak onto the island? Or does Hiwatari have a photo like I used to. It must have been a memory then. Something stored away just for Krad to feed off of. No one else could have made the journey here without the help of an outsider.

Unless...

Is it possible Hiwatari is in love with one of the Harada twins? Risa has been looking at him differently lately. No. She's only frightened of him. Miss Harada is in love with Dark and his power anyway. She would never fall for Krads revenge.

Yet for some reason, my stomach still stirs, causing me to take a deep breath. Hiwatari is so close and he looks so tired. His skin feels like butter despite the numerous markings. It's the colour of snow like a breathless winter morning.

I wonder if Hiwatari can see what I see, or if he only views the scars as a reminder of the monster buried within him. I hope he knows he is not a monster. In my eyes at least.

I wrap a yellowed bandage around and around his hand, covering the antibiotics smeared across the creases. He winces at the pressure around his bruising but grits his teeth, undoubtedly trying to hide the pain he is supposed to be used to.

"You don't have to act tough for me Satoshi. You can tell me it hurts." I tuck the pin intended for attaching his wrap into my mouth and mumble the last words. Carefully he runs his free hand through the tangled bangs in front of his eyes. The scent of his hair hits me like a wall. That same fragrance that covered his sweater. It smells so good. Like a fresh bakery or a spicy winter morning. I can't tell which note sings to me more but I breathe it all in deeply, inhaling more than I can take.

"I'm not acting." I laugh slightly at the tone of his voice. Is he actually trying to make me believe that?

"I know it hurts. Not just this but, everything. You know, I'm not just a little kid like you think I am. I do understand some of the pain."

"No you don't. Dark treats you like he should. You don't understand the pain of...him." I stop and study him for a minute. Originally I would think he was speaking about Krad, but now. There's something funny about the way he said it; something that makes me think maybe there is another person involved.

"Where were you the other night? I turned around when Miss Riku called me and you weren't on the beach anymore."

"I had something else to do."

"In the woods?" The details don't add up very well. I consider all the things I've learned so far; the state I found him in on the beach, how he acted after he woke up and now, how quiet he has become talking about his feelings. Someone is using him for their dirty work, like usual. Someone other than Krad.

But who could be worse than Krad?

"I had to see my father, alright?" A shadow covers his face and for a moment he looks like a wild dog, diseased by someone who had treated it the wrong way.

"You and your father don't get along, do you?" I continue wrapping his hand, being careful not to look at his face too closely. Not to give away too many thoughts all at once.

The room falls silent and a low hum moves from the twins room into the open kitchen. I almost think this is his way of dropping the subject before he leans back and sighs heavily. The outline of water leaks from his left eye, giving the room a dull chill.

** -Daisuke, be careful. This is a tough subject for Hiwatari. He might not want to talk about it too much.-**

It's okay Dark, I know what I'm doing.

Do I?

"Sometimes my father takes things too far. He doesn't know where to stop when it comes to power. But don't worry, I didn't tell him where we're staying. Your secret is still safe." I hadn't even thought of Superintendent Hiwatari finding out where we were. The thought only occurs to me now as Satoshi lets me know it is alright.

"Oh. Did he need something from you?" Abruptly, he stands and places the first aid kit settled in his lap, onto the counter top.

"If we're finished here, I should go to bed. I'm still pretty tired from, our visit. Goodnight Niwa." He turns on one heel and heads down the hallway, hiding almost everything from me once again.

"It's Daisuke!" My voice travels after him but he makes no expression in return. Before I know it, his figure has ducked out of sight, ending the conversation in its shadow.

I open the door to my bedroom and kick off my shoes. My bed seems more than tempting after what has happened in the past couple of weeks. Dark has been so quiet too, it sort of feels lonely.

** -Don't worry Dai, I'm still here.-**

Dark, I don't know what to do anymore. We can't stay on this island forever. And Hiwatari is still being tortured by his past, even here. I still cannot help him anymore than I could before.

What if his father finds us? What if they come to take us away? I don't want him to live this life alone, trapped and terrified in a body he doesn't recognize. I wish I could understand how he feels.

Oh Satoshi...how will I ever know you?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six: Hiwatari, Satoshi

Here I am again, facing the father who decides when he will love me. I can see it in his eyes that today is not that day. I'm on the verge of hating Krad and the way he brought me to him.

** -You know I had to Master Satoshi. I had no choice.-**

I know Krad.

He stands at the window, arms folded carefully behind his tailored suit. The weight of the world is in his hands and there he is, taking it all in.

"Good evening, Satoshi. I'm glad you could make it tonight. I thought the road over would be tough, but here you are." I grit my teeth to keep from tearing out of his plush chair. The only thing keeping me carefully planted, is the look and smell of death in the air.

"I wanted to see you about the changes happening to the city. Where have you been son? I have no one to show off to my fellow comrades. They ask about you all the time. Where is that lovely Satoshi boy? Are you hiding him Superintendent? And I shake my head and offer them more to drink because even I have no idea." He runs his hands through his hair and motions throughout the story, adding the touch of drama we all know to be his only lover. "I know you're with him."

"I don't know who you're talking about."

In one swift movement he turns and slaps me hard across the face. It stings like a thousand wasps but I can't move to touch it. My arms feel like they are glued to their spot suddenly. I'm too weak to fight back.

"You idiot. I saved you from a dying race and this is how you thank me? You run away with the one trying to kill you! To kill me none the less!" He sits before me, balanced on the great desk working as an amateur prop. One hand is poised in his pocket while the other, his dominant hand lays loosely against his pant-leg.

"You are so beautiful Satoshi. It is going to hurt me when I kill you." He raises his hand again and pinches my cheek with all of the force in his hand. "And your artwork will be missed of course. That's why you are here my son. I need you to create a lifetime of paintings for me before you go. Can I ask that of you, at least?"

His eyes are like a hawks; they dig under my skin and create worms that crawl through my veins.

"Not speaking, huh? Well. That's alright. I will just have to get the answer out of you another way."

From a drawer in his desk he releases a tall knife, freshly sharpened. The blade comes to a thick point but is jagged the rest of the way. The sight would scare me if I hadn't been ready for this already. What I wouldn't give to be back with Daisuke on that beach, watching my sweater puddle around his arms and waist.

I really hope he makes this quick.

"I'm going to tell you again what I need from you. You," He places the blade against my shirt and cuts down like a zipper, opening the front to reveal my unguarded skin. "will paint," The knife slides to my chest, pressing down just enough to create an opening. "whatever I want." He runs the silver killer from my collarbone to my bellybutton, leaving a trail of messy blood.

"And if you don't, well, my boy. Let's hope that doesn't happen. For your sake." He sets the knife down and reaches into his suit jacket, flashing the ultimate weapon designed only for his hand.

I expect the cold flesh of the gun to be on my forehead soon, but something strange happens instead. My shoulders sprouts two crisp, white wings that cross over my body in a protective state. There is no usual pain of transformation and as I glance at my hands, I notice it is still me.

Krad is protecting me from within. I can feel him deep in the pit of my stomach, trembling with the pain of it all. He is taking away my agony, healing the bleeding cut on my chest and keeping my father from murdering me.

I fold my arms over my chest, shielding the freshly grown skin. Energy surges through my body, lifting me from the ground. In the back of my mind I can hear the Superintendent screaming, asking for Krad to explain himself. But it seems like a dream, as if he and everything else is a million miles away. The gravity makes me drowsy, or maybe Krad is doing that to keep the misery away even more. But whoever does leaves me to sleep, pressed softly into the core of the ocean.

Here I do not breathe, I don't even think. My mind simply shuts off until I rock soundly into a different lifetime. What are you doing Krad?

** -Allow me master, it is the least I can do.-**

_ "But Niwa, what if he does something? How can we trust him?"_

_ "I know Hiwatari. He seems cold but he is very kind. He knows what he's doing when it comes to Krad. Leave it to him."_

I shudder and wake sweating from the memories of that night. What happened Krad? Why did you do this for me?

** -I have told you many times Satoshi, you are my everything. Without you, I have nothing. Please, lay down. Give your body time to heal. Daisuke has tried, but his man-made power is nothing compared to my magic. Give me time.-**

That man will never be my father. And no matter what, he is not getting those paintings. He will have to kill me first and steal my hands. He can paint them on his own or die trying.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven: Niwa, Daisuke

"Niwa there's nothing to eat!" Risa and Riku stand by the dim light of the fridge, throwing out empty containers and rotten fruit. My father told us he stocked the kitchen before we came, but it already looks like we're out.

"They're right. We need to go out and get some more." Hiwatari stands awkwardly in the corner, as far away from the Harada twins as he can manage. He doesn't want to scare them as much as they don't want to be around him. I wish they would get along for the time we're here, but I know it won't happen.

"No, it's okay Satoshi, I can go out. Maybe we can get a hold of my father somehow..." Everyone looks towards the radio expecting it to ring. Unfortunately it's calling range is only one-sided and we don't know how to contact another person but the static line left in our ears.

Hiwatari pushes off the wall and uncrosses his arms. "I have a plan, maybe we could step outside."

The twins exchange nervous looks but pretend to be busy in conversation while I leave with Satoshi. We meet in the hallway and Hiwatari slides the kitchen door closed behind us. I let myself back against the wall and he places his arm next to my head, resting his weight on it. We stand so close and he still feels so far.

He leans in close and whispers into my ear, sending shivers over my spine. For a moment I don't even hear the words, only the elegant hum of Hiwatari's voice. Soon enough I focus in on the plan, wondering what we could do to get past the guards of the city.

"WAIT! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE GIRL?!"

"Because Daisuke, you have a more feminine build than I do. No one would believe you if I dressed as the female and you the male. It would be too intimidating." He smiles crookedly, as if laughing at his own joke. His humor is almost embarrassing and I'm now glad he didn't tell me the plan in front of the Harada twins. I don't think I could have taken it.

Before I can blink, we're dressed and ready to go. Hiwatari is decorated in a long black jacket that buttons high on his neck. His glasses are gone and they've covered his hair in a droopy gray hat, only showing small sprouts of gelled bangs in the front. The Harada twins giggled the whole time creating our looks; they took their jobs seriously.

When Hiwatari told them what was happening, they instantly agreed without a second thought. I think Riku has secretly been waiting to give me a makeover since she met me, while Risa couldn't wait to touch Hiwatari's hair.

The girls drop a mirror in front of my face, twisting it so I can see the mess they've made of my skin. The first thing I notice is high, ruby-red cheeks, dewy eyes and a pout so pink it hurts my head. They patted down my hair and wrapped one of Risa's scarves around my head, completely hiding the fact that I'm a boy. I was forced into a short pink dress with black socks and one of Hiwatari's jackets over top. This was used to make us look like a _couple. _

His plan was that we would dress up as a young couple shopping for accessories in our new house. It would make sense for us to be buying housing supplies that way and they couldn't question who we were since we were new to the city. Although it is a good idea, I still feel sour about being put in the place of the girl.

He was right though. It would look funny for me to be standing next to a girl version of Satoshi. In this sense, I'm almost glad I don't have to be the boy. Besides, he's much better looking than me.

We use the old row boat my father brought us over in to get back to the city. It will take us into the dock behind the town, giving us the alibi of taking an evening boat ride before going for dinner. Hiwatari has something up his sleeve but he hasn't told me what, only that it will get us more faster.

The ocean is unusually calm tonight and makes a nice ride. The boat glides along the water smoothly, detaching itself from the movement of Hiwatari's arms. It's almost like we're floating on air instead of water. The world around us has a distinct chill and I'm glad for the thick sweater wrapped around my shoulders. How do girls wear this type of stuff?

** -It looks good on you, Niwa.-**

Dark chuckles happily in my mind, enjoying every moment of this mission. Before I get the chance to tell him what else he can enjoy, Hiwatari spies the shore. We were so lost in the ocean, we didn't say a word to each other the entire time. I regret not asking him more when I had the chance but I remind myself of the way back, setting my bets on then.

When we hit the dock, Satoshi tells me to stay seated. I wonder why until I look around and see multiple men standing around trucks, drinking thick liquids from random cases. The dock is only a large slab of concrete with several places to park boats and connecting alley ways leading straight into town. Not giving us many places to run if needed. I forgot about my costume already and how it might be a danger for me in situations like this one. Hiwatari gets out to tie our boat down and offers me his hand.

For a moment I'm stuck deciding how it's best to get out wearing a dress, until I give up and take his awaiting grasp. After an awkward struggle, Hiwatari pulls me out of the boat and balances both of us carefully on the dock. I can feel the men's eyes on my back and make sure to stay as close to Satoshi as possible. He places a hand on my back and we begin to walk past them. As the catcalls start, I make sure to close my eyes and put a hand around myself, pinching just the tiniest piece of the coat Satoshi is wearing.

"Hey! She's a cute one!"

"Where'd ya find something like her?"

"How much for the night sweetheart?"

Hiwatari doesn't say anything, but continues moving as if nothing is being said to him or me. From out of the corner of my eye, I can see a man approach us from behind. My feet turn to stone and it becomes harder to walk while so frightened.

"Need any help with that skirt lady? I'm sure I got an extra hand to lend." Half of the mans teeth are gone and the rest are rotting out of his gaping mouth. He looks like someone who hasn't seen a shower in years and he smells like the inside of a liquor bottle. His hand creeps closer and closer until Hiwatari's grip around me tightens and he pulls me into himself, swinging at the guy with full force.

When his knuckles hit the mans jaw, I seal my eyes, not wanting to see how many more teeth he loses to Satoshi's hand. My body is crushed into Satoshi's, like a mother protecting her young. The minute the man falls, clutching his (no doubt) broken mouth, Satoshi hugs me close and then straightens me in front of him, eyes burning into mine.

"Are you okay? Daisuke, speak to me. He didn't touch you did he?" I can see the worry in his face almost as clearly as the fear in mine. For a second I can't speak and only manage to mumble a few words.

"Y-yes, I am. He d-didn't do anything Satoshi, don't worry." A long stream of hazy air retracts from his mouth and he sighs heavily.

"Good. Now let's go before anyone else gets another idea."

The other men back away quickly, not wanting to make eye contact with either of us. I realize they're all drunk by the similar looks on each face. One man steps forward and holds up both hands.

"Hey man, no harm done okay? We won't mention this to no one." I'm expecting Hiwatari to walk right past but instead he pulls out a shiny gun and points it at the man.

"Don't worry about it." The words are hardly out of his mouth before he pulls the trigger and shoots. The man crumples on the spot and a few others run to see if he's gone. Hiwatari grabs my hand and begins to half-run into a small alley way. I can hear men starting their trucks back at the docks. I can't tell if they're running away, or coming to find us.

"Why would you do that Hiwatari? You just killed that man!" The panic rises in my throat, creating a large lump that won't budge no matter how many times I swallow.

"He's not dead. I only shot his arm. He'll be fine if he gets to a hospital soon; that's if he doesn't die of alcohol poisoning first. Besides, he had a knife. He was trying to distract us so he could attack." I hadn't even noticed these tiny details he figured out so easily. How does he do it?

"Lets go, they already wasted too much of our time."

"Satoshi, you're hand! That's the one you hurt." Shallow cuts line his already bandaged knuckles, some even starting to bleed.

"Shh, don't use my real name here. Someone might hear. Call me, Jin-kun. And keep up, we need to hurry." As we enter the busy streets, I'm almost blinded by the lights. White bulbs are strung everywhere, decorating every post and building around.

"He's trying to please them. To act like nothing bad is happening. I'm sorry father but it's a bit harder than this." I can't tell if Satoshi is speaking to me or himself, but I listen carefully anyway just incase.

We rush down the street, hand-in-hand. I realize we haven't stopped holding them together since we got out of the boat. I hadn't noticed until now, when my palms are sweating and making everything slippery. Hiwatari doesn't even flinch at this fact, he simply walks faster and points to a small shop with the prettiest lights of all.

"There. That's where we need to go."

"But that's! That's a fancy restaurant , Hiwa...Jin-kun. How can we get in there?" I see couples sitting across from each other, taking in the romantic atmosphere together. Bottles of champagne and red wine are being passed around. This is a place I have only heard about, never dreaming to go inside. Especially with someone like Satoshi Hiwatari.

"Good evening, lady, gentlemen. What can I do for you tonight?"

"A table for two please." Hiwatari slips the waiter a blood-velvet baggy, no doubt filled with some sort of money. The waiter peeks inside and grins widely at him.

"A table for the lovely couple! The best view! And a bottle of champagne to start, yes?" He leads us to a small table in the back. Hiwatari gestures to the man and whispers something in his ear that I can't quite make out. The waiters face lights up as brightly as the lights outside and he nods at me vibrantly.

"Of course, of course. Right away!" He scurries away and shouts at a small working girl to bring us something to drink. When they are out of sight I lean in and ask Hiwatari what he said to him.

He simply shrugs and smells the rose that sits in the middle of the table. It looks fresh, like it has just been picked for us. The young girl hurries back with the biggest bottle of champagne I have ever seen, resting halfway in a bucket of ice. She sets two tall glasses on the table and starts pouring. I almost reject, but Hiwatari sets his hand on mine in a warning sign.

"If you could leave the bottle, thank you." His voice is like silk and the girl blushes and drops a pen tucked behind her ear. Hiwatari ducks down and picks it up, pushing it back into place. "Allow me."

Even I feel the pressure the girl is under. It's mean of Hiwatari to do this to her while she is at work. But when she leaves he only smirks and mutters something about young girls being too easy to manipulate.

"Should we really be here?" He begins to turn his glass round and round, making the rosy liquid swirl and create a whirlpool. He lifts it to his mouth and takes a long drink like he has been consuming champagne forever.

"Why shouldn't we be? They let us in didn't they; that means we're allowed." It's times like these when I don't understand Hiwatari and what he means. Why are we here when we were only on a trip to get more food for the island? What does he have in mind for such a restaurant and us? We shouldn't even be here together.

I attempt to hold the glass to my mouth as well and smell the beverage inside. It smells alright so I hold the smallest amount in my cheeks. The taste is slightly sweet and bubbly, unlike what I would have expected champagne to taste like.

Just as I take a deeper drink, the waiter passes by and winks at Hiwatari. As if on command, a harp begins playing softly and Hiwatari leans in to me across the table.

"Play along."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight: Hiwatari, Satoshi

I move through the stages of a happy couple proposing as if it isn't a game at all. I tangle my fingers carefully through Daisuke's and tilt my head to smile, looking into his eyes the way I've always wanted to. As if we are the only ones on this Earth.

His expression is so scared, like he is the animal caught between a set of headlights. It almost looks real, as if he is the awaiting girlfriend being proposed to by her long-time boyfriend; terrified but curious. It might seem crazy, but when he gets the full explanation he will thank me.

"You are the only one for me. From the first moment I saw you, I knew. I knew that I couldn't live another second without you being mine. And now, I think it's safe to say that we belong to each other. I would like to make that official if you are willing to." I retract the plush black box from my jacket and crouch on one knee, opening it wide for everyone to see.

Inside is a glittering diamond ring with a rose-gold band. This ring has stared at me for years, haunting my memories from the beginning of my existence. It belonged to my mother.

"Will you...will you marry me?" I try to put as much heart into my voice as I can. These words aren't exactly fake. Although the moment is, I know how I feel.

Daisuke's eyes are glazed pools in his small face. For a moment, I don't think he understands what's happening and I almost panic but soon he shakes his head and nods as if he is the happiest person alive.

"Yes! Yes of course!" He has knocked his voice up a couple octaves, impersonating a female in love. He jumps from his chair and runs to me, throwing his arms excitedly around my neck. Unexpectedly he kisses my cheek lightly, as if this happens on a daily basis. It knocks me off guard and I teeter on the spot before catching us both on the edge of the table.

We stand and I place the ring on his shaking hand. He is doing much better than I thought he would. He must trust me more than I know. Maybe I should give him more credit than I already do.

"A kiss from the new couple, yes!" The waiter claps his hands together and brings in the rest of the customers and staff. They all shout and some whistle blissfully, not quite taking in what all is happening. A women in the corner glares at the man she is with, grabbing her bag she leaves and he runs after her yelling something about the timing being wrong. Jealousy is such a bitter-sweet fragrance.

Daisuke is holding his hands in front of him, looking more like a beautiful girl than he will ever know. We peer at each other, silently speaking the words we can't say at this moment.

He closes his eyes in gesture and I gather him into my arms. This has to be right, if at all. He looks so small and innocent bent into the arc in my elbow. I almost don't want to ruin it, I don't want this moment to ever fade.

I bow my head gently, meeting his with little effort. It's like a magnet is pulling us together; like a puzzle is falling into place. Our lips graze lightly at first and then mesh comfortably, as if they were made for each other all along. Smoothly we release and pull back to look into the others eyes.

** -Be careful Master.-**

"I...I love you." I stop myself before I say his name, before I make it too obvious that every emotion is the real thing.

When we look up, the building bursts into applause. They rush to shake our hands and congratulate us on what just happened. The waiter brings out exactly what I wanted all along, a large basket filled with food, wine and other assortments. The words 'love' and 'forever' are written across the shiny paper in gold lettering.

An old lady with snow-white hair embraces Daisuke beside me, telling him how beautiful and lucky he is tonight. She jokes about stealing me from him and wanders back to her husband, holding back sniffling tears.

So this is what the beginning of marriage feels like to those involved. I always thought there would be something more to it, something bigger. But by how heavy the congratulations basket is, I can tell the whole operation is materialistic and fake. The business will get better ratings and the customers will have a story to tell their friends, but what does the couple get? The satisfaction that their proposal was good enough for them to get a basket in return? It's pathetic.

Niwa and I hold hands while we eat and thank the staff before we leave, acting completely like nothing is out of the ordinary. People stop us on the streets and ask to see the ring, they squeal and jump and he plays along the way he should but I can tell he's getting tired.

The moon is high in the sky and the roads are emptying fast. Daisuke drags along beside me, shuffling his feet from exhaustion.

"I can carry you if you want. It wouldn't look that suspicious anymore."

"No, it's okay Satoshi. I can make it." His eyelids droop, adding effect to the small lie.

"Let's stop. The twins won't miss us too much in a night. They'll be fine on their own." He trips on his own feet and gazes up at me with only a few slits in his eyelids. I can't help smile a little at the expression. This is so like Daisuke. This whole thing.

We duck into a little abandoned shop for the night. It has no electricity but we make it to the back corner fine. Daisuke is almost asleep before we even sit down, he rocks into my shoulder begins to curl himself into a ball. His head leans against the stone wall, leaving me to pull him into my lap, tucking his head underneath my jacket. I have no doubt he's going to drool, but at this point I don't care much.

I feel more wide awake than I ever have before, so I begin to see what this basket holds. I'm careful not to make too much noise with the paper, not that it would wake a sleeping Daisuke anyway.

I unpack containers of sauces and fruit, preserves and fancy bread, things that will really help us at the island. Three bottles of flavored wine are pushed into the side of the basket-raspberry, plum and a mixed berry combination. I dig out the corkscrew and pop the top off of one of the bottles. It tastes too sickly sweet but I drink part of it anyway, just allowing myself to take in the night. To take in this moment.

I touch Daisuke's hair and his body curls into my hand unexpectedly, wrapping his cheek into my open palm. He nuzzles it for a moment and falls back to sleep, still holding on. I stare at my hand in surprise, scared to move it even a bit.

Will I never get another moment like this back?

** -Do not be so doubtful Master Satoshi. This moment has made it to you now, do not wish it away in such a hurry already. Enjoy it while you can and remember your enemies. Love is not always around the corner.-**

I memorize the curve of Daisuke's face once more and lean my head back in hope for sleep to find me. By the way my heart pounds I don't think it will any time soon. Despite Krad's words I'm still frightened.

Don't leave me Niwa, please.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Niwa, Daisuke

While I'm still almost unconscious, I wipe the long trail of spit from my cheek, yawning on the way. As my mind sinks slowly back to earth I realize what has just happened. Hiwatari! How embarrassing would it be to have drooled on him all night without thinking. He must think I am a complete idiot.

But when I lift my head, there's nothing more stuck to me than a soggy plastic bag holding a few loaves of soft bread. When I open my eyes fully, I notice just how much he has gotten.

Bags and crates line the floor, stocked full of more than enough to keep us going. What was Hiwatari doing while I slept? Why didn't he wait for me to help him? Then I remember all he did in the restaurant without even trying. He is obviously much better at getting his way than most of us. Maybe it was better I didn't tag along after all. I might have just held him back.

I finally notice him in the corner, slumped against the wall. His eyes are only slightly closed, but I can tell he's sleeping - in his own way. Soft breathing moves his shoulder blades and stomach rhythmically, keeping him peaceful for now.

How are we going to get all of this back to the island?

His foot moves once and kicks a heavily bag, waking him instantly. I doubt he has gotten much sleep, not only last night but for a while. The dark circles under his eyes prove that and also give him a menacing look. He doesn't look like the boy I have gone to school with and he also doesn't look like the one who is constantly tormented by Krad. Somewhere stuck in the middle is this new mannequin, this doll that only sounds like him.

His eyes have lost most of their colour, they're darkened and shallow. Especially now when they aren't covered by his glasses. Even his skin is paler than usual, a rusted white shade that mimics a dull ash. Hiwatari might be sick.

My mind flashes back to him struggling to say goodbye; him creating a barrier to save the world from what he could do. The day that Hiwatari almost killed himself. He looks worse now than he did then. At least he was liberated, alive, as sick as that seems. He had something to do, something to get done at that moment. Now he's only hiding from his problems with people who could potentially expose him.

"Good morning Satoshi. I'm sorry if I woke you." I know I didn't, but these are the first words that form in my mouth. The first words I can say to his lifeless soul.

"No, I wasn't really asleep." It's almost a lie, but I don't say anything. He did so much for us, for me already that it seems wrong to try and say differently. If he wants to act this way, he can.

"You were pretty busy huh senpai?" He only laughs a bit and twirls his hair back into the hat. I can't place where he put his jacket until I look down and realize the familiar black material is beneath me, curled exactly into the spot I was laying.

Satoshi is really too kind for is own good. He seems so distant, so away from most humans, but when you really get down to it, he lives to please other people. I think back on all the things he has done to help when he never had a reason to in the first place. I don't think I've seen him think of himself first in a long time.

"We should get going soon if we're going to bring this all back. I have a guy waiting that's going to help us." He even has this planned out. I would have had a hard enough time getting a few things to eat, let alone a chauffeur to cart it back to the island for us. "I can take the boat back and he's going to follow and bring the supplies in his. It's a lot bigger and will take it in one trip. Daisuke, you can just go with him."

"No! I want to go with you Satoshi." I can't help but grip the front of my clothes to keep myself from staring at his mouth. The fact that we...I can't get myself to even think the words. It was as if this all happened with someone else, not him. He seems so strong, so brave. It makes me consider all the things that made him so tough. All of the things he had to be tough for.

He gives me a hard look but eventually softens and shakes his head into a low smile. "Okay. But you'll have to keep your costume on."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Hiwatari, Satoshi

The man I hired to help us move our stuff is called Jukodo Ichisake. He used to attend my fathers parties until he lost his job and was pushed down a few notches on his social standing. After that, he was never invited again.

I remember him because he was kind and was always interested to hear what I had to say instead of my father. He never went along with the higher in command like the rest of the men and had his own personality. Maybe that is why he lost everything; he was not willing to be another yuppy for the corporate world.

I spotted him on the street carrying heavy boxes to his ship. That is precisely his job now, to transport goods for other companies in this ship. To make sure they arrive safely and surely in their rightful packages. The job is small and doesn't pay much, he told me, but it is good enough to keep his little girl in school and his wife off of his back for a while.

He looked too closely into my eyes under a streetlight and remembered me from those years ago. I pulled off my hat and shook his hand without thinking of what my father would say. He asked me what I was doing now and I lied, telling him I worked alongside my stepfather and staying at a small place across the water for a small vacation.

He knew just what my father was doing, as did everyone. There was no way to get around it anymore. The Hiwatari name was disgraced by power. It brought fear and sympathy for those not running the game. With the viscious army that was hidden away for years coming to surface, the people had no say in what they could do.

I helped him load up the rest of his run and mentioned what I needed to do. Without asking, he volunteered himself to help me. I tried to pay him, but he wouldn't take it. Saying this was strictly out of his heart. When he was busy starting up the old boat, I slipped ¥5000 between two boxes and left, hoping he would find it later on.

We made an agreement to meet early in the morning, before his other rounds would start. I mentioned that I would have a friend with me, a girl, as far as he should know.

"Is she pretty?" I felt stunned for a moment, not sure how to answer.

"Yes, she is. She's like a model." He winked at me and smirked into his work, just like he used to in my childhood. I couldn't help but smile back, if only to myself. Was Niwa considered 'pretty'? 

As we walk down the back alley towards the dock, all the men that were there before have gone. Maybe they were scared I was going to come back because after we heard the tires squealing last night, there was no sign of them again.

Ichisake waits for us by his ship, smoking a small cigar burning hot at the end. He grins at Daisuke and me walking hand-in-hand, our usual game for those on the streets. Obviously it works well if even this man cannot see through it.

"Hey! She is pretty! You sure know how to pick 'em son. Well little lady, it's nice to meet you!" Daisuke only nods and flashes a bright red colour, turning his head in response. He actually thinks Niwa is a girl. "Well we should be heading off if I'm going to be getting back on time."

We fill up the back of the boat with everything we got in town. He doesn't question the fact that we are bringing random items back to a lost island, he simply does his job and keeps quiet. This is the type of man I like to work with.

Daisuke climbs into our tiny boat and for a moment, while he looks out into the awakening sea, he really could pull off being a female. There's something in the roundness of his cheeks, the gloss of his eyes and the curve of his waist that pulls it all together. I laugh and make my way over.

"Are you sure you'd rather take this than go on the bigger boat? You could actually have a real seat over there."

"No. I want to stay with you." It's stupid but my stomach almost flutters with relief as he says this. I nod to Ichisake and untie the boat from the dock, sending us out to sea. He crawls behind slowly, giving us space to paddle our way back.

I can see the questions floating around in Daisuke's eyes. He hasn't said anything but he bites his lip roughly, burning holes into the clear water.

"If you have something to say, just say it. He can't hear us." Niwa's eyes glaze over and he opens his mouth like a fish.

"Well, I was just wondering where you got all of this stuff from. You didn't...steal it, did you?" He actually looks worried and it almost makes me laugh.

"No, people gave it to me. It isn't hard to get your way when you know what you're doing."

"Where did you learn to do this stuff Satoshi-kun?" The question catches me off guard and I consider making up a lie to keep him at bay. But something tugs at my stomach to let the truth out. Something telling me for once it's okay to share a secret.

"My stepfather taught me. From a young age I had to...get things for him. In ways that little boys shouldn't have to." I can tell he isn't understanding but memories of long nights and sweaty skin creeps up on me quickly. It's difficult to go on but I bite my tongue to keep from throwing up.

"He used to always tell me I was beautiful and that I could do something with my beauty. So he figured out a way how. It made him more popular and used up all of my good looks."

"I'm not sure I understand." I don't know how else to say it, but I'm scared the blunt truth with frighten him away. The way he rests his head on his shoulder stumps me and I think about dropping the subject like it never started. But that tiny little feeling pulls me apart from the inside out, insisting I let go of the real truth.

"My father sold my body for payment. As I got older, I refused to help him anymore because I was too scared. It wasn't a game anymore. That's when he started...he started..."

"Senpai?"

I fight back the wave of emotions flooding through my body. Krad is there in the back, not speaking words but somehow trying to comfort me in his own way. If I say another word, I'm going to crack. And the last person who needs to hear any more of this is innocent little Niwa. He already looks frightened, terrified actually.

** -It's okay Master, you don't have to push yourself. Give it time. You've spoken enough.-**

The tip of the boat hits the shoreline just in time, giving me a moment to get out and pull it the rest of the way, focusing my memories on the tug of the ocean rather than the tears spilling down my cheeks.

I begin unpacking items and dragging them to the island house, keeping a faster speed to not catch up with the others working. Niwa tries to help, but I tell him not to, allowing the fact that he is supposed to be a girl slip. He drags his feet all the way back and stomps up the stairs.

I really hope he forgets exactly what I told him. There isn't a person alive who should have to handle the truth anymore than I should have lived it.

-I'm sorry Satoshi, I tried to help but there was nothing I could do when I'm locked away. You know I would have killed him if I could. I will make it up to you, I promise.-

I say goodbye and wave Ichisake off, wishing him the best. Niwa doesn't need to know how I got those things, he only needs to enjoy them.

With my stepfather rising up, taking control of the city with an army that has been festering away in his uncontrollable fortress, I don't know how we have any luck left. He is too power and becoming more powerful still with the Hikari paintings tucked deeply into his vault. He has forced to me to do many things but I will never fall victim to helping him ruin the lives of people I care for.

He may keep getting more, he may take over the lives of everyone. But he won't take me anymore. He won't hurt Niwa either. Not while I'm alive.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven: Niwa, Daisuke

Snow falls gently outside, fogging the windows and freezing the ocean. Months have passed with hardly any mention of the city and what could be happening. It seems Superintendent Hiwatari is laying low, scouting out a plan of action before doing anything. This frightens Satoshi and keeps him up at night, leaving him to pace the hallways in anticipation.

Christmas is only a few days away and the Harada twins are busy decorating with whatever they can get their hands on. The house is covered in glittery pieces of paper cut to look like snowflakes. They hang in doorways and across cupboards, warming up each room to the holiday spirit. I see them huddled around the table, creating gifts to give each of us. I haven't even thought about something to give to them, let alone Satoshi.

It's hard to make anything here with our limited access to the outside world but I scavenge the house for materials to create anything. Tucked away inside a drawer is three things: a fluffy paintbrush, a roll of thick paper and a palette of water colours. My mind instantly picks up the possibilities of gift ideas and I bring them all to the small table set up in my room. It's nothing like an easel, but it will do what I need it to.

I begin with Risa because I already have practice painting her for Dark. I sketch in her hair and eyes, the curve of her smile and a background of flowers. It takes a while to fill it all in using water paints but I get the job done in time to start another. I move on to Riku because beside Risa, although they are so different, they really do look the same.

I start the same as Risa but stop when I reach her hair. The shortness confuses me for a second but I stay on track, finishing the painting with a swirl of colour for the background. I set these two aside to dry in the window and spread out a blank piece for Hiwatari.

I stare at the paper for a long time, trying to figure out how to go about it. He is so complex that every emotion seems to roll right off of him. Even the background halts me on the spot. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and paint from my soul, not even looking at what could be happening in front of me.

It shocks me when I finish and I open my eyes, expecting something horrid. Instead, what looks back up at me is completely unexpected. It is a painting of Hiwatari but from behind him are two long white wings, wrapped in patchy bandages. The sight surprises me and I almost rip it up. But before I get the chance, something stops me and allows me to rethink.

Maybe I won't give this to Satoshi himself but I could keep it, just to figure out exactly why my subconscious would create this. Why would something like this be in my head? Before I get the chance to start on another, a delicate knock at the door makes me jump a little in my seat.

"Oh, Miss Riku. What are you doing here?" She's still in her pajamas and holds a small package behind her back.

"I wanted to give you this early. It's a part of your Christmas present." She hands me a thin rectangle wrapped in shiny paper. A hair ribbon holds it closed but it looks just like any other Christmas gift I could have received with real supplies on hand.

"Th-thank you. You really didn't have to-"

"No, I did. You've done so much for my sister and me, it's the least I could do. I know it's not much but..."

"No! I-I love it already!"

"You haven't opened it yet, silly." I blush slightly but continue on to open the small token, making sure to not rip the wrapping too much. Inside is a flat paper card laid on top of a picture frame created out of Popsicle sticks. It makes me laugh a little until I see the picture inside. It's one of taken of Miss Riku and I beside the ocean. We both are smiling wide and she has a flower in her hair.

Although she looks very beautiful in the picture, something inside me feels off. It's like I'm not getting the same urges as I was before. It isn't Miss Riku who is creating the changes. That makes sense why I haven't been seeing much of Dark lately.

** -So you've noticed. It's changed before Daisuke, I'm not surprised it did it again. But if it isn't Riku either, than who is it this time?-**

I don't know anymore. My stomach feels queasy at the thought and I push past Riku to hurry to the bathroom in time. I hardly get a chance to say sorry before I'm out the door, racing my stomach to the toilet.

There's a bathroom down the hall and that's where I'm headed, but as I reach the door it seems to be locked. I jiggle the handle but end up finding the nearest plant instead. My stomach lurches and I let go of everything I had eaten in the past few hours. The locked door opens suddenly and Hiwatari runs out to meet me. He must have been just about to shower because his shirt is missing and a towel is wrapped around his neck.

"Daisuke! Are you alright? What's wrong?" He puts a hand on my back as I continue to lean over the pot, making sure nothing else is willing to part from my mouth. I try to answer, but know I can't; not right now.

Riku follows us down the hall, spotting me after looking the wrong way. Oh no, not her too. Soon everyone will be watching me throw up.

"Niwa! Are you sick?" Questions hit me from every direction but my head spins too much to answer. The world seems to be moving the wrong way and before I can hit the floor, I crumple into Hiwatari's arms.

"I'm...okay." The world turns a funny shade of foggy dishwater grey aroundme and I blank out, leaving all my mess to somebody else. 

"What happened?" I awake to find Riku sitting on a chair beside my bed. She's reading some sort of magazine as if she's been here for a while.

"Oh! You're up. We've been so worried! How are you feeling?"

"I-I don't know. My head feels kind of funny." She sets the magazine aside and angles her chair so it faces my direction better.

"That's because Hiwatari gave you some medicine to help you get better. You're probably still feeling the side effects. You're lucky he caught you, or you would have been feeling a lot worse right about now." She giggles happily and I wait for the chord to strike in my stomach like it always did, but once again, nothings there.

"I'm sorry I ran out like that Miss Riku. I didn't know what else to do."

"Oh no! It's my fault Niwa. I shouldn't have given you such an awful gift. It was too early anyway, I probably jinxed myself." I don't know how she can be finding anything to blame on herself right now but I hardly have the strength to disagree. Lucky for me though, she continues speaking.

"I um...I looked at your paintings while you were asleep." She gestures to the stack I made earlier for the gifts. "I hope they weren't important. But, oh Niwa! They're beautiful! Especially the one of Hiwatari. I don't know how you did it but, you captured his smile perfectly."

I can't remember a smile in the painting, but as I glance at it again, there's one clearly drawn on his face. It's like it switched, like something happened to it while I was out. Now what am I supposed to give Miss Risa for Christmas?

"It was actually supposed to be a gift for everyone; for Christmas. I hope you aren't too disappointed now that you know."

"Oh no Niwa! I love it. It would be an honor to have you give me a painting. Especially one of myself." She looks so happy with both of us and I don't know how. She can't feel what's happening inside of me. She doesn't know the confusion stirring for us. How will I anticipate a change coming now?

** -Merry Christmas, Daisuke. We have a lot to figure out.-**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: Hiwatari, Satoshi

Christmas has almost always been a disappointing portion of my life. It isn't that I haven't been given gifts, I just can't get away from the empty feeling it continues to bring. Even this year I hide beneath my blankets, hoping the holiday will just go away altogether. What good is a day focusing on a fat man who gives presents but is ultimately a lie?

I can hear the others already awake and ready to celebrate. The twins run around, skipping and singing random joyful carols. They all seem more in the spirit than they should be. How can they celebrate when freedom is so far away these days? Niwa knocks on my door and peeks in.

"Good morning, Satoshi. Merry Christmas! We were just wondering if you were ready to come downstairs now." He is bright-eyed and is almost shining with excitement. If it wasn't for this face, I would stay bundled away in my bed.

Without answering I lift myself out of bed and begin to get ready to go down. I can't tell if Daisuke is waiting for me or not, but he stays in my doorway until I'm ready and beams happily when I make my way over. My vision is still quite blurry from sleep but we make it to the small make-shift tree set up in the living room. Underneath, small packages lay together, giving hope of something worthwhile.

Risa and Riku huddle together on their knees, picking up random shapes and separating them into small piles. This is one of the first times they have allowed themselves to be so close to me without worry. Maybe that is a gift in itself.

Niwa sits cross-legged beside Riku and helps to move the stacks. They truly look like good friends in this way. They mesh so well, so easily. How do I fit into this mess? Risa glances up at me and pats the spot beside her. Maybe it's just the holiday air but she looks almost eager for me to be with them. I should have put my glasses on to hide my eyes better this morning.

We each take our separate gift piles and begin to unwrap them. I push the rolled up paper from Niwa aside, saving it until the end. Riku has designed a small globe filled with plastic snow and a happy winter scene, made to put on the tree. I can tell a lot of work has been put into it and the thought knots my stomach tightly. The days of work they suffered to make these really shows as I twirl the golden string between my fingers.

Next, I pull open Risa's. She watches me from the corner of her eye as I take her gift out of its box. She has made bracelets designed to match each person. Mine is multiple shades of blue string tied together with a simple sparkling white stone attached to the middle. It really is beautiful. Like something you could find in a jewelery store. I turn my view to her and thank her quietly. She blushes a deep red and shakes her head, fiddling with my own gift in her hands.

Gifts are easy to buy, but difficult to create without the right things to make them with. I pushed away the thoughts of what I could make quickly when the time came, and only settled on a few things that we picked up in the city.

I wrapped up a flowery silk scarf for Risa, a lavender wooly hat for Riku and for Daisuke, a maroon hoodie to keep him warm. These things all seemed appropriate for winter time and by the looks on everyone's faces, I'm pretty sure they go over well.

Risa laughs and wraps the scarf around her neck, turning her smile toward me. "Thank you Hiwatari, it's beautiful." A chorus of thank you's ring out to everyone until our attention is turned down to Niwa's presents. It seems like everyone has left his until the end. Daisuke looks embarrassed but pretends to be more interested in his other gifts.

It's pretty obvious what they are going to be, but what are on them is the big surprise to us all. I pull off the gold ribbon holding it closed and let the paper unroll. My mouth opens at the sight and I inhale quickly, dropping it so the twins cannot see.

Daisuke has perfectly captured the moment in the restaurant when his lips met mine. Although it is emulated by a girl and guy, I can tell easily who the odd couple is. I let it be in my mind that it made no difference to him, that he had forgotten it already. But by the way he meets my eye now, I know I have not been the only one thinking it over day by day.

"What did you get Hiwatari?" Riku eye's my paper suspiciously, wondering why I'm not showing it off like the rest.

"It's nothing. Just a joke between Niwa and I." I roll the paper back into place and slip the ribbon around it again. "Excuse me."

I hurry outside to take in the crisp morning air. Everything is shimmering from ice and snow and the world looks so fresh. My lungs gasp at the breeze, leaving me to grip the balcony for support. I make my way down the stairs, knowing what's coming. What's happening to me now. Why now? Please Krad, stop.

** -He wants to see you Master. He asked me to take you.-**

Not now. If anything, give me time.

** -He will not like this Satoshi. He will punish you and I don't know how much more I can protect you.-**

You don't have to protect me Krad. It's not your job to be a hero. We have to do something about him. None of this will end unless he is stopped.

"Hiwatari, are you out here?" I expect it to be Niwa, but instead I find myself faced with a pink-faced Risa. "Are you alright?"

She shivers into her nightdress and hugs her arms closer around her. She really shouldn't have come out here to find me. I don't want her to see me like this. As best as I can, I straighten up and push away the hair and sweat covering my eyes.

"I'm fine. I just...needed some air." The lie is horrible but it's all I can come up with as Krad settles back into a worried state.

"We thought you might be sick too. Maybe there's a flu going around."

"You should go inside Risa. It's too cold out here for you." She shields her eyes with her bangs, making me wonder what's going through her mind.

"I wanted to talk to you Hiwatari. It's hard to when Niwa and you are always together. I volunteered to come and see if you were O.K so I could tell you something." The redness of her cheeks reminds me of the girls at school, confessing their love to me in the hallways. I got so many notes and chocolates I began to refuse taking them. Girls are so dumb the way they think a gift will win over the guy they like.

"I think we better go in." Her hands grip hard, creating tiny fists. She looks up at me with such intensity, I think for a moment she might hit me.

"Hiwatari! I like you! I have for so long and I wish you would notice me." Small tears begin forming and falling innocently down her face. She shakes hard with a mixture of fear and relief. "Hiwatari, you are so beautiful!"

These words cut tiny holes in my frozen skin. Beautiful? Wouldn't that just be the same words I could have heard from my father? Or a client he might set me up with? _Beautiful._ The syllables send ripples through my spine, into my brain. I do not want to be beautiful anymore.

I back up slowly and make it into the open forest line before she has the chance to call my name. I can picture her running behind me, yelling for me to come back, but it doesn't happen. She stays on the deck, holding her hands up to her mouth with a saddened expression written across her face.

I can't be beautiful anymore.

The wings sprout before the pain for once and I'm in the sky before I can feel the burning take over my back. For once the spasms of my muscles contracting into his is almost comforting. Because for once, it's taking me away from the bad, not to it.

I won't be gone long Niwa, I just need to breathe for a while.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen: Niwa, Daisuke

When Miss Risa tells us that Hiwatari ran off into the woods, I'm almost tempted to go look for him.

** -No Daisuke, he might have something he has to do. If he doesn't come back in a few days, we'll check.-**

I sit by the windows with my knees pulled to my chest and wait for him to come back. The snow gets heavier as the days slowly pass and my heart begins turning to stone. Come back Satoshi. Come back.

I'm afraid of the condition he could be in, but Dark assures me he can take care of himself. Knowing what I do now though, about his father and what he can do, I'm frightened that it might not even be Krad that we have to be worried of by this point. Satoshi's stepfather has done so much to our town, simply by brute power and greed, that Dark may not be enough to handle it.

Riku brings me food and things to drink, but I hardly touch them. My stomach feels too tight, too scrambled for anything else. Miss Risa usually stays in her room by herself. I think she feels guilty that he left, even though she couldn't be the problem. Miss Riku comforts her so she doesn't cry so much, but lately nothing is working.

The Christmas spirit came to a close very quickly and only small thank you's were given out afterwards. The little scarf Hiwatari gave to Risa is still balled up where the tree used to be, either forgotten or left by bad memories.

It's almost New Years by the time we see Satoshi again. He's wearing new clothes and his face looks sad and harden. I can't help but imagine he was with his father, that he was forced to spend his Christmas with someone he didn't know.

He doesn't have time to even walk up the long stair case to the house before I let myself out to meet him. I run, barefoot, in the snow and pull him into the hardest hug I can manage. Beneath the layers of clothing, he's shaking, just like he's about to break on the spot. His arms meet my back and he buries his face into my shoulder, sobbing unlike the Hiwatari I know.

We drop to our knees and huddle together. I wish to bring him inside, but the depression coursing through his body tells me not to move even a muscle. His tears feel like ice through my shirt and I rub his back.

"It's okay Satoshi, I'm here. Just breathe." He tries weakly to even his breathing but only takes in more air. His skin is very cold and pale, even against the snow. "Come on, lets warm you up."

The Harada twins stand quietly in the doorway as I wrap a small blanket around Satoshi's shoulders. We exchange glances and they leave, knowing this needs to be a private matter.

I sit him in front of the small fireplace in the living room and light it until warmth spills out onto his skin. Between rooms I take random things to make it more comfortable for him; blankets, pillows, even a new set of clothes from his closet to try and warm him up a little. I almost feel like a mother taking care of a sick child. Although there's no way I care for Satoshi like a child.

He's curled himself into a small ball between the flames and wood, shaking more than ever. I can't tell if he's shaking because of the cold, or simply from everything he's dealing with inside. I want to reach out, to touch his cheek and let him speak, but instead I help him change into the dry clothes, not saying a word.

Satoshi looks like a little boy by the time we wrap all the blankets around him. I pull them over his head so only his face shows through. It would make me laugh any other time, but when I look into his empty eyes, I know there is nothing funny.

I sit beside him, holding a glass of water for him in case it's needed. He doesn't cry anymore and I washed away the old marks, yet you can still tell it happened. Is this the person he's always holding inside so the world can't see? Oh Satoshi. The exhaustion is so clearly written in his eyes but he hardly stops to blink. I don't want him to think he has to hold this all in.

"Um, Satoshi, if you want to, you can tell me what happened." I feel dumb for wording it like this and it takes everything in me not to smack my head in regret.

He tugs out his hands and rubs his eyes, shutting them closed against my statement. "I just can't be me anymore, Daisuke."

His voice sounds rougher than usual, like he hasn't spoken for a while. I ask him what he means quietly, hardly mouthing the words at all. I'm so scared to say the wrong thing, to push too hard and have him break apart right in front of me again.

"Everyone says I'm so beautiful but it isn't true. I'm not what they all think I am. No one knows me, except for you Daisuke." My heart starts to swell at his words. I know him? "I'm terrified. Of me, of him, even of you a little bit. I've never told anyone anything before and here I am, telling you my life story."

He pulls the blankets off and releases a pocket of heat from inside. It must be getting pretty warm for him now.

"Satoshi, I think you are pretty beautiful. Not just the way you look, you're very kind. You've always tried to help me when you don't have to. Even the Harada twins look up to you more than you think. And it isn't just because you're beautiful." I don't ask why he's afraid of me, or himself. I simply take his hand and fold mine around it, trying to be helpful.

Something in my mind is screaming from far away but I try to ignore it. I can't tell what it's saying, only that it won't stop for anything. My heart races in time to the feeling, burning through my chest. I swallow time and grip his hand harder, trying to keep myself stable.

"Daisuke, you feel something don't you?" The sound of his voice urges on the tidal wave in my body, like it wants him to keep going.

"I'm...I'm fine." With my free hand I hold my heart, feeling the outline through my skin. I hard;y notice when Satoshi lifts his hand and places it over mine, causing the erratic beating to cease for a moment and start up again twice as fast.

My heart just skipped a beat.

Satoshi.

** -Daisuke, what's happening? Everything's changing.-**

I stare into his eyes, feeling a definite blaze between his fingers and mine. Has it been him this whole time?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter fourteen: Hiwatari, Satoshi

We sit around the kitchen table, waiting for the clock to tick to the right number. Twelve o'clock and the calendar will reset itself again. Twelve o'clock and things can finally change. New Years.

Each of us holds a small cup of champagne to celebrate that still remain untouched. Not many words have went throughout the house lately. Not many people have spoken. Other than the twins spending time together in rooms, we mostly stay separate. But tonight, because it is so big, a silent agreement to come together unfolds.

I don't know what the new year will hold, whether it could be good or bad, I just hope it will be better than this year. For everyone.

With three minutes to go, Daisuke taps his fingers against the table, patiently holding in the applause until the right moment. New Years is supposed to be about celebration, about starting over and finding yourself again. As Daisuke and I meet each others gaze I know I've found the thing I want the most this year. I smile slowly and he returns it before looking down again with a funny red glow.

I'm not sure what exactly happened with Niwa that night. Whether he came to some great realization or not is still a mystery. I just know in that moment we both shared our tears until the fire died out, clutching the only other living thing we could find. When the sky fell too dark to see outside, we stumbled into our separate bedrooms and stayed there, not saying a thing.

He looked so shocked, so scared that something was happening inside of him. I didn't know if it was what I thought or not, but I was too frightened to ask. I could hardly touch him, hardly say anything to make it any better. The usual between us.

_5...4...3...2...1! Happy New Year!_

The twins jump out of their seats and hug each other close, shouting cheers and "Happy New Year!" until they giggle so much they fall back into each others arms anyway. Riku pulls Daisuke into a hug and kisses him gently on the cheek, sending my stomach into a whirlpool. But as I glance at the two, I only see Daisuke looking back at me.

Carefully, Risa makes her way over to my spot and smiles calmly. "Happy New Year Hiwatari-senpai." She leans down and hugs me with one arm. She stays there for a split second and backs away, finding her sister again.

"It's a new year Satoshi! So many things can happen now." Daisuke sounds so calm, so sure, so unlike himself. I wasn't expecting this celebration from him at all. He blankets me in a firm hug and whispers hurriedly, "I don't know what's going on Satoshi. I don't know what to do."

The sisters seem caught up in their own world as we slip out the door. Beyond the house, the stars shine brightly, lighting up the porch completely. It's like a million tiny worlds stare down at us from the stars. A million other Daisukes and Satoshi's living a million different lives.

Daisuke leans against the railing, holding it until his knuckles turn white. Taking a deep breath, I close the door against the twins laughter and make my way over to him.

_ "It's a new year Satoshi! So many things can happen now."_

I hesitate but place my hand on his, closing the boundaries that have been here for so long. Unexpectedly he flips his over and intertwines our fingers. For a while I just stare at the difference between them. He looks so small, so innocent, but his hands are strong. I've never noticed them before. Beside his, mine look like a child's. In a way, I kind of like this. The way my fingers fit directly between his without any gaps. The way his skin is so soft against mine I almost forget where I am.

"It's all changing isn't it? Things aren't going to stay the same forever." He stars at the sky, not blinking for a moment just in case he misses something. The words pour out from him like he's dreaming, like he's gone over this all in another lifetime.

"It is. But maybe that's not a bad thing at all." Niwa twists his head to the side and leans it almost against his shoulder, just like always. Some things never change.

I don't notice our bodies moving closer, the chemistry changing in the air or the way Daisuke shuts his eyes before we meet until it's already happening. Everything is different this time. His lips don't taste like sticky lip-gloss and the moment isn't pressured by the eyes of everyone else.

This is us. This is what I have always dreamed about, wishing it could only come true. This is the one I love finally getting the chance to love me back. I count the seconds we remain together like they are the most precious thing in my life. Maybe because they really are.

** -Oh Master. We're almost there.-**

Every cell inside my body screams into the night but I can't hear a thing as Daisuke looks up at me from the collar of my shirt. His eyes are wide and alert and his free hand is tangled into the material covering my chest. Gravity shifts us back into place, practically slamming us into the wood of the deck.

Our hands stay together on the railing and I touch his cheek lightly, feeling the heat rising underneath the surface. The moon highlights his cheeks, his nose, every small detail of his face. I take them all in happily, memorizing this scene for a day when I might need it.

Someone asks where we are from inside and we part, only holding a gaze between the two of us. Niwa goes back inside to assure them we're alright, but I stay outside, just breathing in the sweetness of our kiss still hanging in the air.

How can I be this lucky, if only for a moment? I'm scared to see what will bring my reality crashing down again. I sigh and place my head into my crossed arms, looking out into the water. Someday this will all be a memory. Someday I can tell the story of how a new year can bring a million stars down to find you.

"Hiwatari?" I turn around to find Risa in the doorway once again. Her face looks curious and aware, not nearly as beautiful as his was. "I wanted to say Happy New Year again. And that I'm sorry if I upset you the other night. That wasn't what I was trying to do at all."

Usually this would have annoyed me, or even upset me a little. But in this moment I didn't care how much she babbled on. I let her talk for a while, watching her move closer and closer with each word. She was feeling brave now because I wasn't moving away like usual.

"Hiwatari? Could I-could I kiss you?" The question caught me off guard and before I could say anything she pressed her mouth against mine and pulled away quickly. "I'm sorry! I just had to know what it would be like."

"It's okay. But Risa, I don't like you. Not like that." I could feel the sting of my words like a slap against her skin, but it had to be done. It would only hurt her more to think that she had any hint of chance left. She begins to cry a little but that's what I was expecting from the beginning.

"Oh." She mutters this tiny word and takes off back into the house, hand over mouth in an attempt to keep in the sobs.

I still smile to myself. Girls can be so dumb.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen: Niwa, Daisuke

"Satoshi?"

"Hm?"

" I-I keep having this bad dream." He barely looks awake but I stand at his doorway anyhow, hoping to find some relief in the calmness of his voice.

"A bad dream huh?"

"It's about my mom and...Superintendent Hiwatari! He tries to take her from me. I can feel it somewhere like it's real. Dark hasn't said anything at all. He won't answer me." The tears well up before I can even take a breathe and Satoshi props himself up on one elbow. He pulls back his blanket and gestures to me.

"Come on. You'll be O.K here." I bolt like a child and curl myself into the warmth of Satoshi's bed, wrapping my hands around his waist. It's been so long since I've had the chance to just lay with someone until I calm down. I haven't seen my mother in forever.

For a surprising moment, Satoshi begins to soothe my hair with his hand, running soft strokes across my hairline. I would almost feel frightened if it were anyone else since I am so out of sync with another humans touch, but with him here, it's almost natural.

Our bodies are molded into each other and he rests his chin on the top of my head, allowing me to pull closer. "Daisuke, I don't want you to think about that dream, alright? You need to just breathe and let yourself be calm. It's not going to happen, I won't let him touch your mother-or anyone for that matter."

I can hear the bitterness of his voice hidden beneath the pale moonlight shining in the blackened window. Although I can't see his face, I know what it must look like. A hard mask struggling to keep strong. You don't have to be so tough for other people, Satoshi. You can let your guard down sometimes.

I can't tell whether it's the comfort of the room or the soft rain dribbling across the window, the fluffiness of the pillows or even just the way I can hear Satoshi's heart in my ear, I find myself drifting off into a place without dreams. It's nice, for a change, to just be still and relax while I sleep. Instead of being tortured into the release of morning. I wonder what he dreams about when he's alone. I wonder if he ever needs a person to calm him down too.

"You can...come to me, Satoshi..." The words are mumbled from sleep and I doubt he is even awake to hear them, but it settles me to say these six simple sounds out loud. I hope somewhere in his subconscious, Satoshi gets the message and knows exactly what I've been trying to say all along.

I think of the deck and his mouth and how warm I felt even though we were out in the snow until the smile on my face wakes me up completely. I'm still in Satoshi's bed and to my surprise I didn't have another nightmare. For weeks I've been haunted by these same images and in one night they go away. I don't know how he does it.

I'm still not sure what is happening between Satoshi and I. One moment he was the host for an enemy of mine, a person I shouldn't even have been involved with. And now he's something entirely different.

He's something that makes me smile like an idiot.

My hands are warm against his bare chest and the world seems so quiet around us. I can't even hear the twins moving around below. Ghosts roam the halls in their place, shutting away the afternoon so we can stay here forever.

How have I not be changing all this time? Even in the presence of the twins I used to change automatically. It seems like something has changed there too. Everything is so controlled between Dark and I.

** -You're right Daisuke, it is different. The urge to change isn't here like it was before. I can't tell what's happening.-**

I look up to see if Hiwatari's awake or not and am faced with the realization of how close we really are. My head is right under his chin, balanced against his chest. When I turn my head up, our lips are only a few inches away from each other. My heart races even faster at this information, dislocating itself my body once again.

I'm struck by the beauty of him in this morning light. The way his hair is pushed around, really showing off the structure of his jaw. He's so different when he's asleep.

Satoshi shifts a little underneath me and yawns, opening his eyes only a crack. The light is too bright for the moment so he closes them again, but smiles and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Anymore nightmares?"

"None! I didn't even think of it after I came in here Satoshi!" I move onto my stomach to grin up at him as he opens his eyes again, adjusting to the sun a little bit more.

"You aren't saying Hiwatari at all anymore." Huh. He's right. It just doesn't seem like the right thing to do anymore.

"Oh, I guess I'm not." He smiles more and covers my shoulders with the blanket. It isn't exactly cold in the room, but the gesture almost seems to bring us closer together, huddled inside this nest.

We don't speak for a minute, just letting the air in the room fall around us once again from heavy breathing and racing hearts. I can't stop thinking about our kiss, about how different this feels from how I've ever loved before. I don't feel the need to be anyone else, or anywhere else. I just want to be Daisuke right here, right now.

"Satoshi? Could...could I kiss you again?" He makes a funny smile but motions his face towards mine, gently meeting my awaiting mouth. I try my hardest to keep my eyes open, to see what he looks like as he comes closer, but everything inside me shuts down, leaving room for the bliss instead. Before I know it, my eyes are shut once again and I'm lost in the moment. Lost in the sheets and the warmth and fact that this is the only place I want to be to start this brand new year.

When we open our eyes and move away, I notice the sparkle in his eyes. It's something that's never been there before, or at least not that I've noticed. I lay my head against his chest once again and breathe in the euphoric scent that always surrounds him.

I could get used to this.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen: Hiwatari, Satoshi

I don't know how Daisuke and I have been able to be so close without changing lately. It still hits me every now and then. But together with Krad and I, we can work out the differences and push it back a little. Daisuke hasn't changed at all since we got here. Or not that I've noticed. Then again, he just came to the realization of what has been happening only recently.

The realization that has so dramatically changed my life, it has almost left my heart shattered in the process. How should I have known things could ever feel this way? That love could ever feel this way.

Because of my stepfather I feel so empty, so used. My body is withered and worn away before its time should even have came. How could he have done that to a person he was supposed to love? His job was to keep me safe and protected. But instead he was the one throwing me into dangerous situations. He abused his power, like he does now, and took away my innocence.

The one thing I thought I still had despite the mess my life was becoming.

And now with so many emotions just around the corner, I don't know how to react. I cannot tell whats too much and what isn't enough. And I'm terrified to let anything come between us and ruin it. I'm almost too scared to do anything, just in case. Something always stops me, dragging me back into the thought of the setup moments between my father and his human money bags.

Sometimes, just lying there with Daisuke in my arms, I forget who I am and think that maybe, maybe, I might just be a normal person for moment. But I see my skin and scars and know that, that will never be the case. Even with him, I can't be normal.

Daisuke is in the bath now, relaxing away all the emotions running from his skin. He's so soft, so warm. I feel like I should protect him always. Especially in moments like this when he's so alone and unguarded. Only Dark Mousy there to glimpse back at the mention of a mirror's touch.

I leave my room to find his, that's where I know my sweater will still be. It's been so long since I've seen it, I almost forget what it looks like on me. Our rooms aren't far apart, but I take my time. There's no need to rush days like this. I don't know how many more I will have here.

I push open the door to Daisuke's room and step inside, taking in the pure boyish charm of his ways. Clothes lay on the floor and across his bed. The small table in the corner is filled with paint supplies like paper and cups full of dirty water. Paintbrushes swirl around in a haze of color, lazily waiting to be cleaned out. I laugh a little to myself, typical Niwa.

I spy my sweater bundled on a chair and turn to pick it up. When I lift it from the spot, a rolled up painting falls out from underneath. I hesitate on looking at it, but curiosity gets the best of me and I begin to unroll it.

The picture takes me back for a moment. It's me. It's me with my wings but, why would Daisuke paint something like this? When did he have time to create something so real and scary? The bandages on the wings are what confuse me the most. I know he has seen me shirtless, but has there been enough time for him to really see the markings on my back from where the wings protrude?

I pull my hand back and touch beneath my shirt, right along one thin line that has been reopened a hundred times. These are marks that I will never lose. They are too deep, both physically and emotionally. They have already done too much damage.

I drop the painting instantly when I hear footsteps behind me. Quickly, I scramble to grab my sweater and pretend to be casually leaving. Daisuke walks in, drying his hair with a towel.

"Oh, hey Satoshi!" His t-shirt is wrapped around his neck, leaving only his pajama pants as a covering. They're his favorite, I've noticed. With little burgundy strips and a black tie, they look really good on him. He's so small, but still really strong. He seems to have gained a little weight over the holidays and it looks good on him. He was getting pretty thin from all the stress.

Now that we've heard from his family on a daily basis and have been given word that my stepfather is waiting the war out, we've had time to plan an attack. Krad and I talk about it often, but I've never discussed it with Niwa before. I don't even want to bother him with the thought of fighting. Not right now when everything seems to be falling into place.

"Daisuke, you've never really seen me have you?"

"Seen you? What do you mean?" I take my chance at that moment, pulling my shirt over my head to reveal exactly what he needs to see. For once, I'm not embarrassed by the hazy markings or what he might think. Because it's Niwa, I know it will all be okay.

"Do you see these marks?" I face the window and show him my back. A small noise escapes his mouth, but he doesn't regard them as ugly. "They come from my wings."

"Oh. Satoshi..." A nervous finger reaches out and moves down the scar, feeling the grooves and memories. His hands are warm from the bath and feel good along my skin, making me shiver. I turn slowly and face him, looking at him from over my glasses. He looks sad, but relieved. Like my secret wasn't as scary as he thought.

"You don't know how glad I am that you don't have these too." I put my hands on his shoulders, bringing our foreheads together. He reaches up and takes off my glasses, setting them on the table beside us.

"I wish I could take them from you. I wish I could set you free, Satoshi." I close my eyes and wait for his mouth to find mine the way it usually does. It's different this time though, it's slower and softer. As if we melt together instead of just fit like puzzle pieces. Even Krad stays despite his usual disgust. He doesn't look away or pout, he just stays with me.

We reach the bed and lie together, pushing away the evening light. I don't know if it can be anymore than this, just laying. I don't know if I can take it. Daisuke presses his hands against my back and chest, moving them with our lips. This should all feel so familiar but it doesn't still. This is new and exciting, not the strategic placement of person-to-person contact. Will it ever fall to that? To the everyday puzzle of how to make things new again? With the way his skin feels against mine, I can't believe it.

"Daisuke, how does this work? How are we not killing each other right now?" He has tucked himself into a small circle between my arm and torso, creating a hardly-there Niwa-sized pocket between us.

"I-I don't know. I, don't know if I want to stop." This shocks me coming from him, he still says it so innocent I almost think I'm hearing things. The initial moment makes me laugh but also scares me. So he feels it too.

"You mean, you'd rip my clothes off too?" As fast as I can, I flip him onto his back and pin him against the bed. His eyes are wide with fear and excitement and he holds onto the waist of my jeans. I kiss his nose and cheeks and laugh at his reaction, removing myself from the hold. "I'm only joking. Come on, we should get something to eat. I think I heard your stomach growl."

"Was that my stomach?" I hold the door for him and walk out behind, just taking in how small a moment has to be to change everything.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter seventeen: Niwa, Daisuke

It's strange to be able to be in Satoshi's mind all of the time now. Before it was a locked cage, something you could glimpse at but never really touch or know. Now, he tells me so much more than I could have ever wished for. Still, I can tell there's something in there that needs to come out but can't.

I hardly have to push anymore and worry about things going too far for information about the real him. We sit around and talk more than we used to, about us and the world and what would happen if those were separated. Sometimes he scares me with how he speaks about himself. Like he's a monster who's trapped with no way out. His stepfather has warped his mind so much, he truly believes he's the evil one and not the man in charge of changing him. This is damage that I wonder if I can ever erase.

The pressure of it all is clearly written on his face and in his words. Anyone could notice how hard he struggles just to be himself. Even though I try my best to make him be alright with who he is away from the mess of his stepfather, I can still see him glancing in the mirror to see Krad occasionally.

I don't know what kind of effect Krad has on Satoshi anymore. It seemed he was changing every moment before, but now, it's like they get along. I always saw Krad as the bad guy, the one we were trying to defeat so I could save Hiwatari. I don't know what to think anymore, maybe Krad is also trying to save him.

Another thing that has been changing so much since I really figured out love was turning, is the way I feel when Satoshi is around me. Before I would feel nervous and scared, like I wasn't good enough to be in his presence, but that isn't the case anymore. Not even close. Since I found my cells changing to want him, everything in me has really _wanted_ him.

When he's near, I want to move closer or curl in against him as much as I can. Distance seems too far no matter how far it actually is. And when he says things about _it_, even as a joke, I can't help but react. I wonder how he feels because of what happened to him with his stepfather. It must be a sensitive topic for him.

But I've never felt this way for anyone. Not even one of the Harada twins.

Everything inside me is completely new, squeaky clean and fresh. Even now as bright as the stars above us shine, I can't get myself to look at them. He faces the sky but lets his eyes stay on mine, half-smiling against the moons light.

"You're different." I think it's alright to talk about this now without offending anything that's happened so far.

"I'm different? I think you should be telling yourself that, Daisuke." He says it almost smugly, like the Hiwatari I used to know. The one who kept to himself no matter what.

"I don't think I've changed. I'm still Niwa." I pull my knees into my chest and watch the ocean. It's nice to be out here again without the snow. As nice as it is for winter, it doesn't make much of a place to talk.

"Do you think the twins have noticed anything yet? They hardly leave their rooms." I heard the story of what happened between Satoshi and Risa from Riku one day when we were finishing the dishes. He's turned so many girls down and even though I guess I know why, I wonder if it was hard to say no to Miss Risa.

"The Harada twins just needs time to...get used to it here." It's sort of a lie, but I know even he would feel bad if he knew the impact his no has made on her.

"You know, I haven't really changed at all. It's only you Niwa." This takes me by surprise. I know I've changed, but what does he mean it's only me?

Instead on focusing on the big questions I only say, "Niwa?" as a joke. I know it slipped in without thinking, but pointing it out seems funny at the moment.

"Sorry, Daisuke." He puts his hand up to the bridge of his nose and adjusts his glasses. He's hardly had to wear them lately, I wonder why he does now.

"You know Daisuke, I really thought you and Riku were going to be together. You had everyone fooled." He smirks and sits up with me in the sand.

"I guess I fooled myself too, I really thought we were going to be together." It's kind of sad how stupid I was before to think we were meant to be. I really thought she was my true love and now..."How long did you know?"

"Since the first moment my father told me to spy on you. You've always been so perfectly...you. I guess I've just always known."

_ I guess I've just always known._

"Always?"

"Daisuke..." I maneuver myself so I'm on top of him in the sand. It isn't as swift or smooth as he would usually be, but it's enough. He's sitting with his hands back and legs crossed, a position he could easily move out of even with my weight and my legs wrapped around his back. Still, he stays like nothing is happening, like this is the most casual pose in the world.

I find my hands in his hair, around his neck, down the buttons of his shirt. My fingers move on their own, quickly and surely like I've done this a thousand times. Our mouths work roughly, sparing time for only tiny shots of air. Adrenaline pulses through my veins like tidal waves and I can feel each heart beat in my throat.

I don't know what's happening to me, what monster is taking over my mind, my body. This is something I have never seen from myself before. This isn't the person I've grown up to be.

** -Look at who's starting to grow up.-**

The sound of Darks voice so far in the back of my mind pushes me to speed up and move quicker before the moments gone.

What's happening to me?


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors Note ****Hey guys! So things have been pretty crazy lately. I noticed my chapters getting shorter each time I post one. _ Exams and the end of the semester are coming up reeaallyy soon and I just wanted to apologize in advanced in case I don't write as much! I can't even believe this is chapter 18 already! My babies are growing up :'3 Thank you so much for reading, any questions/comments are totally appreciated! xoxo -Sarah**

Chapter eighteen: Hiwatari, Satoshi

I have to untangle Daisukes hands from the button of my jeans before he gets the wrong idea. I can't, not right now. I'm not ready. I can't be ready.

"Daisuke, stop." It's like he doesn't even hear what I say as he continues tackling me, pushing me farther into the sand. He really can be strong when he wants to be. "Please. Stop."

Even I can hear the pain echoing in my voice this time and for some reason it's taking everything in me not to cry. My mind replays the pain, the shock and the betrayal of it all. I squeeze my eyes shut against the voices, against the hands pressing roughly into my skin. Against his words and his assurance.

_ "You can't say no Satoshi. They want you. They picked you."_

The funny thing is they never picked me at all. They wanted him. They only wanted to please the superintendent, just like I did.

Everything comes too close, closing me in like the world is a box. Niwa stares at me like I'm speaking a different language. I pick up my glasses off the sand where they fell, wipe my eyes with the back of my sleeve and push Daisuke to the side. He lets himself move off without a struggle and watches me from his knees.

"Satoshi?" I can't look at him. I can't face what has always been my biggest fear. His eyes look so sad, like I've ruined everything. Maybe I have.

It's hard not to just hide my face or bury myself away in the sand. Drown myself against the flood of voices that never made any sense suddenly picking now to make themselves known. I cover my ears, hoping they'll go away but it only gets worse. I can't even hear Krad at the back of my mind, screaming at me to keep control. It isn't him this time, I'm not changing.

I'm simply losing my mind for good.

I rock back and forth, hugging myself as if that will keep me together. I can hardly see Daisuke through the tears stinging my eyes but I can tell he doesn't know what to do. Nothing Niwa. Nothing.

"Just go away." I try helplessly to keep control of myself and the angering budding inside my stomach.

"No." It's so quiet I don't hear it at first but he balls his fists tries again. "No! I'm not leaving you."

"Daisuke -"

"Satoshi!" Our eyes lock and he doesn't let go. He really has changed. He's so head-strong and determined. He's that beautiful little piece of innocence I never got to have. Who is this boy?

"Daisuke, they would hurt me. He didn't care, as long as he got what he wanted. They brought knives and rope - whatever they felt like. It would get so painful but I couldn't do anything. If I cried they'd only go harder or faster. Some people would tape my mouth. I kept it all to myself, I never had anyone I could tell. It was all for him."

It feels good to let it out, to just tell someone without thinking about what they might say. I think Daisuke might cry too but instead he takes a deep breath and wipes a small tear from my cheek.

"I wouldn't do that to you." I've heard these words a thousand times from clients who claimed it was "different", that they themselves were different. But when they come from him and his soft mouth, I can't help but believe just a little.

My mouth tastes so salty from both the sea spray and the excessive crying. I never meant for the night to turn out this way. I never meant for anything to turn out this way. We were supposed to be enemies or friends or something. But what are we now? I almost laugh at myself and the stupidity of the moment. This island seems to be never ending.

The voices leave one-by-one, calming themselves at the fact of the story being shared. It hits them like bullets and they can't take it. I'm more than glad for this. Slowly, I let my hands fall into my lap, leaving my ears uncovered for assault. I half expect them to come back, but they don't. At least not now, not until the rest of the truth bubbles up again.

It's so quiet now. The wind slaps against the ocean, creating a rusty noise and a feather of salt spray. Daisuke stays beside me, hardly breathing. Part of me wishes he would reach out and touch my shoulder or my hand, but the other part is enjoying the distance just a little.

So this is what it's like to have someone answer your pleas. To be able to say no without having that right taken away. This is what it's like to have someone love you enough to understand.

"Thank you."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen: Niwa, Daisuke

I wake up to rub a handful of sand out of my eyes and clothes. I don't remember when I feel asleep last night, I was too scared to leave Satoshi alone. Even when he eventually drifted off, he would wake up every few hours to a new nightmare. It scared me to see him like that more than anything else.

I felt so helpless, so dumb, when he was hurting and I didn't know what to do. My whole body had turned to lead and I forgot how to help people. I couldn't even move my mouth to speak.

I didn't want it to be like that. I wanted to be someone who could be there for him, at least him. But I wasn't. I was just like always, dumb Niwa.

When I finally sit up and open my eyes for good, I notice the empty space beside me. For my moment I don't think anything of it, but soon my mind is wandering to the multiple situations this could lead to. The first place I check is the house, ducking my head into each room on the way into the kitchen where I know the twins will be.

"Have either of you seen Satoshi?"

"Hiwatari? No." They are tucked into the small table, eating cereal and watching the news from a television hooked into the corner of the room. Riku hardly looks at me as she speaks, jealously overflowing in her words.

"Why, is something wrong?" Risa seems worried, probably for the sake of his well-being. She uncrosses her legs and stands beside me.

"He's not in here?" I know this can't be good, leaving my stomach to knot in panic.

"No, Niwa. We thought he was with you." My legs begin to pace uncontrollably, thinking of different places he could be at this point. Even Riku gets out of her seat to come over and watch. Everything is fumbling together in my mind, creating a mess that's difficult to wade through. A thousand things are processing in my mind at once, nothing leading me to his whereabouts.

"Maybe he went to see his dad." Risa's voice is completely innocent and unaware. She doesn't know what kind of hope she has given me.

"That's it!"

"That's what? Niwa! Where are you going?" The twins follow me down the hall, Riku right on my heels. I begin to search around my room, throwing things into my pockets and tugging on a jacket.

"Uh, nowhere. You can stay here. Don't worry." There is no way I'm letting them come with me to find him. I don't know what sort of state he will be in, or what exactly is going on. It might not even be safe for me to go, let alone two girls with no experience of protecting themselves in dangerous situations.

"Niwa! I'm going with you." Riku blocks the doorway and crosses her arms. I knew she wouldn't take this lightly.

"Me too! I'm not staying here by myself." Risa stands behind Riku only slightly, both blocking any way I could have gotten out.

**-Women huh?-**

Dark chuckles to himself but I can tell he knows how I feel.

** -I don't think they're going to give up Daisuke, these girls are tough.-**

I know he's right, but I don't want to bring them either way. There's nothing I can honestly say that will make them stop without giving away secrets about Satoshi. Secrets that they don't ever need to know.

Riku stands her ground, digging her heels into the hardwood. Risa pouts and makes her eyes as round as she can. Here are two girls that I used to be so madly in love with, just months ago. I can't believe things have changed so quickly, yet so amazingly. I should be rushing off to find my parents, or even one of the twins, but it's not even close.

"Ugh! Come on, please just let me go!"

"Tell us why you're going!" I pace back and forth, trying to string a suitable story together so they won't get suspicious. "Niwa, the truth."

Riku and I make direct eye contact. But instead of seeing her, I can see Satoshi rocking back and forth on the beach, just trying to keep himself from going crazy. The image is enough to almost push them aside and leave without explanation. I know it would worry them like crazy, but if he's in trouble, I need to be there.

"I just need to go, now. Please, let me past."

I try to duck through, but it doesn't work. Riku stands steady, letting the years of sports and training come back to her in this moment.

"Tell me why." My eyes begin to water in frustration and I know at any moment I'm going to break down from the effort.

"Because...because...I LOVE HIM!" I look up at her and let the tears flood my face. She steps back in shock and lets me walk out, barely looking back. This is the first time I have admitted it to myself. The first time I have really come to terms with what is happening, despite the obvious flood of it in the air.

I really do love him. More than I have ever loved the Harada twins or even myself. I think something in me has always known, but it took this much to bring it to surface. The words float around in my mind, bouncing off of the feelings of fear cramming into one another.

I love you, Satoshi.

I start toward the door, hardly saying anything to the twins. Riku still stands like a sculpture in the doorway and Risa waves her hand in front of her face, hoping to bring her twin back to reality. I knew this was going to be hard for her, but I never thought she'd freeze up completely. I don't know if I should have held anything back, or if this was the right move altogether.

When my hand reaches the front door, I hear small footsteps behind me. "I'm coming, Niwa. You can't find him on your own."

I stare into her eyes this time, really seeing her. This confession has broken her heart, but I can't feel much sympathy at the moment. I only nod in response and give up the fight. It's the least I can do at this point.

When we bundle ourselves into the small boat Satoshi and I took to go to the city, I realize just how long we could have left. There is nothing to tell us that he is OK, nothing to make us feel like we are even fighting for something. I know he's strong, but that's the problem. He's so strong he will do anything to end the pain.

The light of the morning guides us across the water. Even though it's bright out, the ocean is milky and pale. Not the usual romantic blue we tend to see. I can feel my throat twist around itself, making it hard to speak when Miss Risa asks me random questions. Riku hasn't spoken since we left, she mainly sits in the back, looking out into the nothingness.

I can't help that I've hurt her. I would have felt so guilty before, but now...I just can't find the same pit that used to eat away at me whenever I would upset people. Small tears escape down her cheeks in the corner of my eye, but still I don't say anything.

Everything is just too different now, I can't take it back no matter what.


	20. Chapter 20

**Authors Note: So we here are again! :3 This chapter was really exciting for me to write and I'm just going to say that there are only two chapters left! So sad! ): I wish I could drag it out forever. I was thinking maybe I would try my hand at a Hikaru/Kaoru OHSHC story next. Let me know if that's something you guys would be interested in!? Suggestions are always accepted and thank you so much for reading 3 xoxo Sarah! **

Chapter twenty: Hiwatari, Satoshi

It wasn't hard to find him once I got across the ocean on Krad's wings. The funny part is, it hardly even hurt this time. I was so determined, so fueled with hatred, that I made it without a single thought. Even the transformation was miniscule compared to the numerous other times I have relived the torture of feathers breaking through my skin.

I had too much to gain this time. Too much to be proud of in such a short amount of space.

There wasn't even a problem getting into the office. It was like I was invisible, just slipping past guards and military monsters training for the end of the world. He wasn't even in the room when I arrived. I'm surprised he hasn't been waiting for this.

I sit down in his chair and spin around once, testing out the feeling of being a superintendent and a demon. His desk is cluttered with papers and diagrams, things he shouldn't keep out for everyone to see. I almost laugh when I see the few frames propped up in the corner, holding just enough memories to make him semi-sane.

Two of them are pictures of me. One from the day he adopted me, and the next, a random picture of the two of us dressed in stiff suits, his arm draped leisurely around my shoulder. I notice now that his fingers hardly touched my clothing. As if he would be contaminated if he were to let his skin come in contact with mine. He smiles, but the only thing that reaches his eyes is the thought of whatever he was about to do to me next.

The memory of that night floods back to me and I spin around again, watching the deaf city fly around me. I can feel the power he must have surging in my veins, pumping me up. The sky shouts back at me, releasing the initial terror I felt entering this place.

"You know, I was just thinking." His footsteps are quiet, but not enough to be ignored.

"Sa-Satoshi? My boy." He clears his throat in an attempt to regain himself. He was never expecting his army might faltered when it comes to security.

"I was thinking of that time, the one in this picture. I had completely forgotten about it until now." Until this point I had been staring out the window, fixing my eyes on something I couldn't quite see in the distance. A helicopter, or some sort of aircraft. Back-up most likely. "You had a client for me, like you usually did after an event. But these ones were different, weren't they, _father_?" I allow the chair to swing around once more until I face him directly, letting a swift flash of gold cover the oceans in my eyes.

He might have thought of Krad as an ally before, but now, I can see it in his eyes that he knows. He can sense how alone he is with just me in the room.

"I, I can't recall what you mean. Why don't you come here, let me see you. It's been so long since you've visited." I don't move a muscle.

"You remember how they tied my hands, don't you? Well you must, you were there. They kept my feet together too, so I wouldn't kick. Would you be worried about that? About a little boy kicking you while you were trying to _rape_ him? While his father was taking your money to do so. Of course, you can't let anything come between you and your enjoyment. You are paying for it after all."

I pick up a mug that is leaking slightly, staining papers below. It's one I gave him for fathers day a few years ago, #1 Dad. Without thinking I smash it, hard, against the desk. The porcelain shatters into a million beams of light, spilling over the edge and landing at his feet. With the way the light is slanting into the afternoon, the mess is tripled. I hope someone has fun cleaning that up.

"But, father, are they really the ones paying for a good time? Or am I? You know, I specifically remember that group. The women was a teacher, the man one of your good friends, if I am correct. They paid you extra and you told them they could do whatever they wanted. And they did, didn't they? I thought it was OK at first, they did the same things everyone else did. Except I did find it funny the way you stood there. The way you _watched_. What were you doing father? Making sure they didn't really kill me? Making sure they only dunked my head for a few minutes; just enough that I wouldn't die."

"Satoshi, we can talk about this." The fear in his eyes is potent now, I can smell it. I expected more from him, a gun maybe. A weapon of some sort at least. What good is an army with such a pathetic leader.

"Oh, I am talking. I would have spoken then, but they had me gagged. And it is rather hard to speak when your head is submerged in a hotel bathtub. But, you already knew that." I pull a small switchblade out of my pocket and twirl it around my finger, smiling at the way it flashes in the light.

Maybe I really am losing my mind.

"_I can't breathe daddy_! Is that what they told me to say? Oh no, that was_ you_. Refresh my memory, what was it you said after? _'Isn't he beautiful._' Yeah that's it." I laugh now, feeling the cold metal warm against the friction of its movement.

He steps back, trying to gain closeness with the door. Lucky for me this entire office is wired to a single remote, giving me the opportunity to lock it before he even thinks of escaping.

"When I came here, I thought I might just talk, exactly how you want. But now, it seems you have no where to go, so maybe we can do more. Maybe I can show you _exactly_ what it's like to be tied up and gagged. What it's like when they use weapons."

He's so pathetic he can't even speak. He just stares, eyes jutting out like a fish caught out of water. This is too easy.

I stand up and approach him, watching the way he flinches as I near. When I circle around him and bring his hands to the back, he hardly moves. Why is he letting me do this? The rope is out of my pocket in seconds and slides easily around his wrists, so tight pinpricks of blood form underneath. This makes me smile even more.

"Why don't we sit down superintendent?"

I lead him over to a chair perched before his own desk. It's nice to see him here, instead of the other way around. He doesn't squirm or try to wrestle, he simply comes with me, completely surrendered. I narrow my eyes but keep going, playing up the act as much as I can. I sit on the edge of his desk, the way a father might when lecturing his own son.

"I haven't been feeling like myself lately, father. It's strange. I know what it's like to lose your mind over and over again, but you know, this is different. I feel good. Am I going crazy, _daddy_?"

I open the knife in one movement and make a small opening in his neck, just below his chin. It isn't deep or even very long, just enough to hurt.

"I'm not sure I can get those paintings done for you. You see, you've never liked the way I copy other peoples art and I'm afraid that's all I can do. I guess you'll just have to get them some other way."

I put the knife close to his mouth, splitting open a bit of his lip to add to the blood already leaking down his shirt. I can remember being in his situation a thousand times over, but watching him is so much better. Maybe that's why he did it.

"Smile father. It will be over soon. That's what you would always tell me isn't it?"

"You won't do it! You can't. You don't have it in you!" He's panicking, sweaty from his palms but letting the blood drip wherever it pleases. I rip off a square of his tailored shirt and gag him.

"You're right. I don't. Unlike you, I'm not a murder. But, I think someone else needs to show you what _they_ can do." This time the pain doesn't even register as bad. The wings rip through my skin and reach high into the rafters, a pale snowy white that basks in the glow of the setting sun.

I allow the change to happen, so simple and new. For a second, I see through Krad's eyes. With everything shifted in a golden tinge, even the blood looks beautiful. When I'm finished taking in my work, I let him take over, only feeling the slaughter for a moment.

He was right, I could never have done it, in the end. Even now I can't look at what has become of my makeshift father. Or how Krad has disposed of him for me. I allow myself to drift away for a moment, revisiting the story I told him only earlier about the couple and the bathtub. I wonder how Niwa would feel if he really knew what this man had put me through. I make a small pact with myself in that moment to keep these small things to myself, if only for him.

** -Master, you can open your eyes now. It's over.-**

I do as I'm told and find myself back in my own body, sprawled out on my bed in the island home. I wonder why we're here of all places, if the superintendent is gone.

** -I talked to the military and they've backed down and cut forces. The town should be safe now. You have done it Master, you saved them all.-**

I gush with internal tears at the thought. Everyone safe and able to go about their lives the way they once were. Even Daisuke's family can come out from hiding now and be together. We can leave this island and bring the Harada twins back to their home.

I don't have to hide my face as if I am the monster anymore.

"Where's...?"

** -I found Daisuke paddling in the wrong direction, towards the opposite dock. He was accompanied by Miss Risa and Riku, who both seemed pretty rattled. The twins are down for a nap, but Niwa has been awake ever since, waiting to see you.-**

I chuckle at the pure Daisuke-essence of the situation. "Is he-?"

**-Right outside the door.-**

I slump my legs over the side of the bed and find him exactly where Krad said, dozing off against the frame of my door. I sit down beside him and once again find myself moving his head into my lap. Small lines have formed on his forehead and I smooth them with my fingers, hoping a simple touch can banish the bad feelings for him.

"Satoshi?" His voice is slightly rough from the sudden amount of sleep, but his whole face brightens when he looks up at me.

"Hey." I press my thumb against his nose, letting him wrap his hand around it and maneuver my palm against his cheek, nuzzling like a child.

"How are you?" I smile at the question, finally being able to give a positive response without lying even a little.

"I feel good Daisuke. I feel really good."

"That's good." He takes my second finger and puts it in his mouth. Oh Daisuke.

The house is so quiet, so still. Not even a board settles in the foundation. It's like the world is cut off from the outside, it's just him and I now. Somehow, all of the toxic material from my life is seeping out, dissolving into the abrupt nothingness that has now taken over.

"Satoshi, I think it's OK to tell you this now."

"Tell me what Daisuke?"

"I love you." My breath catches in my throat the minute the words leave his lips. He places my finger into his mouth again, looking up at me with round eyes.

"I love you too, Daisuke. I always have."

We lean together, there in the hall, and touch our lips like we haven't in years. Maybe it's alright now, maybe I don't have to be scared anymore.

For a moment, I can feel something unlock in my heart. It's like all the feelings I have ever held back flesh together and become real. I know the same thing has just happened to Daisuke by the way he looks at me.

My fingers go numb and my heart splits in two, not painfully, it just does. The world spins around us , shaking up the house. I wonder if the twins can feel this also. A second goes by and a string tugs on my bellybutton, sucking my insides out but keeping me intact. I'm tempted to hold my head like that night on the beach, but before I can, a hand taps my shoulder and I open my eyes to see Daisuke stare unblinkingly at the two familiar figures before us.

"Good evening Master Satoshi. I never thought I'd see you in this light." 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One: Niwa, Daisuke

I blink as many times as I can, trying to renew my vision out of this dream. I can't be seeing what I am, this isn't Dark standing in front of me right now. I mean sure, it looks like him and when he says my name I recognize his voice, but it's just not possible.

With a shadow slanted across the hallway behind him, Dark reaches out to touch my shoulder, to pat my hair.

"Hey kid! You did it." He grins down at me and puts his hands on his hips. It's so surreal, staring at the face of a person who has only ever been me when I needed him.

"H-how...?"

"It seems the curse has been lifted, young Daisuke. Your bond with my master has created more life than you even know." It's Krad who speaks to me now and I let my mouth gap open in response.

"You don't have to call me Master anymore Krad. It can just be my name. If anything you should be my master." I'm not sure what has changed between the two of them, but Krad bows deeply and presses one of Satoshi's hands against his own cheek.

"As you wish, Satoshi."

They look so...normal. So not like angels. Krad still has his blonde hair, and even a ponytail. but it's significantly shorter and tied back with a white ribbon and a jingling feather. He simply wears a white t-shirt and blue jeans, like any other man on the street. For the moment he looks so down-to-earth, so ordinarily human.

And Dark beside him surprises me more. His hair is still purple and wild but he leans against the wall in a black t-shirt and darker jeans than Krad. They almost match in way, but are opposites, still. Around his wrist is a bracelet with a small black feather charm dangling from it. So this is what happens to an angel that is bound in love.

"Aren't you glad to see me Daisuke? It's been a while, huh." Before I can stop myself, I jump off of my knees and form Dark into a great hug. He's so warm and real. He's really here. I've only dreamed of the day when I could stand face-to-face with the great Dark Mousy. Yet, I never thought it would actually happen. Especially not this way. My mother will be so thrilled, I can see the look on her face now.

"It really is you! Are you staying? Is this for good?" The questions tumble from my mouth and I desperately try to tangle them together. Still, I cannot get them to stop.

"I guess so. I don't feel like we're changing back any time." I feel like I'm wading through a dream. With Dark in front of me and Satoshi holding my hand, the world can't seem to get much brighter.

I squeeze his fingers between mine and let my head settle on his shoulder. His cheeks are flushed with the moment and the colour looks better on him than I would have ever thought. This is Satoshi Hikari. Full of warmth and love, he will always be strong even if he doesn't think he is.

We eventually sit down and talk about as many things as we can. Even though we've had this long to speak in our minds, it's so different now. The small motions really get me; the way Dark scratches his arm or Krad crossing his legs, they all strike me as such human things to do. I don't know how I can even get used to this. At least not for a while.

I feel like there's something Satoshi and Krad aren't telling me when it comes to where they were as I was rowing around. I don't push, in case it touches on bad memories, but I secretly hope it will come up somehow.

It's Dark who mentions it first. "So, what did you do to Kei?"

Satoshi and Krad only glance at each other, speaking solely with their minds still. I guess that's one bond that will never be broken.

"He won't be coming back anytime soon." Satoshi takes off his glasses for a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose. After realizing what those glasses have always signified, he snaps them in half and sets the pieces down. No one even flinches at the sound because at this moment, we all know good to feels to cut anymore silly ties.

I wonder what he really means by 'not coming back' but I don't push any farther. If he's gone, he's gone. That is a simple fact I can trust Satoshi, and now Krad, with.

Time passes quickly and before we know it, the sky is blackened with everything we tell each other. We each walk our figures to separate bedrooms to stay for the night. Luckily, the house is large enough to hold many, giving everyone enough room to be free, for once.

"Goodnight Daisuke. It seems so weird saying that with you walking away, doesn't it? But ya know, I kind of like it." He fluffs a pillow on his bed and smiles at nothing.

"Yeah, it really is. Goodnight Dark." I close his door behind me and make my to my own bedroom. It has been a really long day.

As I reach my doorway, I can see a branch of light sliding out from Satoshi's room. He's still awake? I put my ear against the door and hear a slight trickle of soft music playing from behind it. My hand begins to turn the doorknob and I peer in. Satoshi is sitting on his bed, back against the wall. His shirt is discarded on the floor and he runs a sleek finger over the random markings in his skin.

"Satoshi?"

"Yes?" He doesn't stop because of my presence, he only glances up and flashes a dopey sort of smile. He looks tired but I know after today he's unable to sleep.

"Can I come in?" He nods and brushes out the wrinkles in the blanket next to him, allowing me to fall in line there. When I get comfortable, he unfolds another softer blanket and pulls it around the both of us, bringing us and the warmth together.

"Are you scared to have another nightmare?" My head is cradled against his collarbone and I allow myself to follow his lead and touch certain spots that shine brighter than others on his stomach. I don't know where these scars have came from, but even so, they are still so beautiful.

"I don't know. I don't think I can sleep."

"I was thinking the same thing. But you know I'd protect you if you did. I won't let anything scare you anymore Daisuke."

"Are you scared Satoshi?" He places his chin on the top of my head and cocoons my body with his, making sure almost everything is touching.

"I was, but I'm not anymore. I think it's OK to finally let myself rest." This simple fact is reassuring in itself. If he can relax, so can I. And the one thing Satoshi needs more than anything else is a bit of rest. Already, the purple under his eyes doesn't seem so extreme or serious. He feels more relaxed in general.

"Daisuke, do you think it would be alright if I tried something?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Authors Note: Okaay here we are; last chapter! Ugh this makes me so sad )': Thank you so much for reading and for all of you who stuck with these two throughout their journey. It means the world to me! I'm not sure where I'm going to go next, but I know that I will be writing again very soon. (: Comments are always appreciated, and thank you again. For a first story, this turned out so much better than I ever expected! Enjoy :3 -xoxo Sarah**

Chapter twenty-two: Hikari, Satoshi

Somehow, in the back of my mind, I can still see that night on the beach. So many things have happened, so much of my world has shifted since then. But that is what stands out now as I move Niwa onto my lap and begin to kiss him like we've never kissed before.

His mouth moves fast but easily, pressing against my lips, my neck, my stomach. I forget how to move away, forget how to say no. I'm so scared but it all feels good for once. Like nothing I've ever experienced with another human, in this kind of setting.

I think of my stepfather, the man who watched repeatedly as tears rushed from my cheeks day after day, being tortured and abused until I had forgotten just how young I was. But now I remember. I feel the world ahead of me, the time flowing beneath the sheets. I feel Daisuke and his body and the way we move together like only we were made for this. The fear I've always felt melts away and leaves Niwa's kisses to patch me back together.

For once we're entirely alone. No Krad, no Dark, just us. The music swells each time we move as one, dedicating itself to the movements. I cradle my palms around his back, his shoulders, wherever seems to be right for each second.

"Am I hurting you Daisuke?"

"No, you would never hurt me Satoshi." He nuzzles his head into the crook of my neck and breathes hot air onto my skin. He's sweating slightly and his cheeks are pink, but I can see a smile on his face still.

I close my eyes and feel Daisuke's heart through his chest, repeatedly beating back against mine. It's like we become one person, one fraction of a whole other world. Our minds, our bodies, our souls bind together to rely solely on each other. In this moment the only thing I can feel is him.

My fingers cannot feel enough of his skin to be satisfied. My hands dart around, wishing I could hold all of Niwa in only my palms. I can taste myself on his skin and it makes me grin into the blankets fur. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing. Everything inside me feels giddy, leaving a dry, wordless taste on my tongue. Maybe speaking would spoil too much.

I feel so small, tucked into this bed with Daisuke tangled into my chest. But the world is so big around us, full of energy and hope. So full of life. How can we ever get enough of just this? Will we ever get enough of it?

Our fingers tangle together under the sheets, forming a never ending loop with the two of us. They fit so perfectly, so invincibly. Just this creates a shield I could live behind for the rest of my life.

With one finger I lift Daisukes chin toward my own and kiss him as gently as I can. "I love you."

I could say so much more. But at the moment, this is the only thing that comes to me. And I am OK with it all. We kiss again, even lighter this time; just barely touching.

"I love you too." I pull him closer and make sure the blanket we wear is tucked around his back.

I don't know how well I can sleep, but Daisuke is out in minutes. I listen to him breathe and feel his heartbeat steady with his dreams. Even though things seem so right, there is no doubt something will haunt me even in sleep. I don't mind it though, I'd rather it find me in a dream than in real life.

There is only so much one human can take without being able to reset themselves.

I feel my eyes start to droop and picture the gold of Krad's angel-form wink back at me. This startles me for a second until I remember where I am and what has recently happened. I don't know if I'll miss that look or not, now that they're nothing but humans. But as I sink again into a deeper state of my tired subconscious, I think of how having Krad here with me will change things.

Tomorrow we will all be so new. The Harada twins will get to meet our Dark and Krad, not as powerful beings, but as someone just like them. And Daisuke and I will be something entirely different.

I don't know what to call it, but as the sun slinks higher into the morning sky, all I know is that right now, I am made of nothing but light. And I am more than in love.


End file.
